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Eric Michael Kline

This reminds me of a joke. I’ll try to ponify it:
 
In the gardens of Canterlot Castle, there was a statue of a stallion and mare in love. The spot was a popular place for couples and one day, Princess Celestia was inspired to bring them to life. “Because you have brought joy to so many,” she told them, “I will grant you one hour of life to do whatever you like.” The mare whispered to the stallion, and the two statues ran off into the bushes. After twenty minutes of giggling and rustling, the statues returned with smiles of joy. “You know,“Celestia said, “ you still have 40 minutes left. You could do that a few more times if you’d like.” And the stallion statue turned to the mare and said, “Okay, this time I’ll hold the pigeon down and YOU shit on his head.”