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it’s okay now.  
I’ve been to the counseling center in my area for a counseling session to help me cope with this. it all started because I’ve been in a lot of stress lately and that one guy just really make me reach my breaking point and it literally make me want to attempt suicide by sitting alone at 3 AM on the side of the bridge near my area. yeah, a really **** up thing to do…
 
the counseling session really does help me to cope with this situation and i’ll be back again to my old self and uploading later, probably.
 
scar-ed downvote tho… you just really have to take her happy holidays spirit away, don’t you…

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Background Pony #010C
‘gives the downvote pony a cookie to make her feel better.’
 
also keep on going to counseling man. there is no removing stress from existence but there can be a myriad of ways to help relieve it. you gotta find what works best with ya.
 
ya got people who care about ya. so whenever you find yourself nearing a breaking point of stress find what lets you bleed out that anxiety and cope with it.  
while i cannot say i have been to such a point in my life that you reached, i have a shitload of anxiety problems. and autism….. and some depression.  
i is mess.  
still we all are different. so go find what helps you the most and stick with it. and if it at some point is not efficient, either add to that or find something new.
 
that is the best advice i can give man. so i wish ya luck.