Fetishes - An Egghead's Guide [Questionable]

So, yeah, I know there’s a “fetish” thread, but I kinda wanted a different tone of discussion, here. It’s a thing a lot of people wonder about, from my experience, and a comment thread on a picture led to a lengthy discussion, which generalized from that particular picture, to branch out to other fetishes.
 
So, I decided a forum post to continue the discussion was appropriate, since it looked like it was going to continue going off-topic from the original picture, and since this way it’s more public so more ponies can learn! I thank the internet for the veil of anonyminity that makes such education possible~
 
So let’s get to it! Try explaining Why you like your fetishes. The conversation linked above, so that these explanations can be part of this discussion:
 
 

 
@Background Pony #DF1A  

 

 

 
And, because they commented this:
 
@Background Pony #DF1A  

 

 
I replied about another of mine:  

 
Lots of other named ponies commented, but for some reason I feel shy about quoting them here without their express permission, so I’ll bar that and let them come and speak for themselves.
 
So, background pony asked me if I have any other fetishes I know about. …  
 
Well, eh, oh jeez. I’m even less proud of this one than the others, but I got asked, and I believe direct questions deserve direct answers, and I could just say; “I’d rather not say,” but I’m also a huge advocate of talking about things and learning, so, here I go…
 
I’ll reluctantly admit I’ve got a hanging fetish of all things. Maybe I should mention off the bat, though, it’s purely in fantasy; any actual realization of it involves somepony actually getting hurt and going through a seriously traumatic experience, and is kinda gruesome, which are both big turn-offs. I’m really empathetic/sympathetic (it hurts me greatly to crush spiders even though I’m arachnaphobic - so I’ll let them go often despite how terrified I am of them ever returning), not a psychopath or anything, in fact it even bothers me a little, still, that I have this, but I do.
 
Now, this thread is about explaining, not justification, so here I go:
 
Basically, it has to do with that last paragraph from the “bondage” section. In a sense, hanging is really just bondage taken to its far most extreme - what’s more helpless and forced into submission than someone on the receiving end of an execution? So yeah, it’s really an execution fetish in general, too, it’s just most methods are so gruesome that they’re a turn-off, with a few exceptions, and this is one of the big exceptions - at least in some cases/depictions (this is about as grotesque as I’d go).
 
But basically it’s that “damsel in distress”, and “when you realize there’s absolutely nothing you can do, there’s nothing to worry about.” About the damsel in distress thing, it’s a simple chain that I explained earlier:  
Damsel in distress - (emotional response) > a desire to help -> saving someone’s life is a huge, personal, loving, affectionate, comforting, even intimate act -> intimate, loving, personal act = arousal.
 
…What’s really creepy, though, is I think some peoples’ brains, as brains do in the ever-going quest for efficiency, cut out all the middle steps, to the point where Damsel in distress -> arousal, without the desire to help or love for others, so it gets to the point where they directly love others’ pain/distress, which is… Well, scary, I’ll always make sure to emphasize those middle steps, though I try to entertain this fetish as little as possible - when I do it’s almost always a failure of my will against it…
 
But once again, it’s fantasy-only, because of the reason mentioned before, and since in a real scenario, you’d always have some hope for escape, and so I, at least, would be planning/fighting for my life until the very end. But hanging is a big one because once you’re dangling on the end of that rope, well, there really is nothing you can do, all hope for escape is gone by that point. (Not suicidal or anything, though - I’m not unhappy about my life, and I am excited for the future, and I wouldn’t be so selfish/cruel/violent as to murder my friends’ and family’s friend and family member: myself)
 
So, yeah. Also, think of this: bugs are only really cute because they’re small. Small, and helpless. If they were huge and powerful, they would be terrifying, and are often used in fiction in that way. Someone bound or on the receiving end of an unjust execution is sort of under the same “small/helpless = cute” effect, on top of the “damsel in distress.”
 
Also, so why is it an attraction to the pony in distress, instead of an attraction to rescuing? Because it’s the damsel in distress thing, and the bondage helplessness (where helplessness = cute) thing, and so you see them in that situation, and imagine yourself there.
 
And finally, in those sorts of extreme situations, people are vulnerable, obviously, and thus very emotionally vulnerable as well. If you imagine Starlight in such a situation, for example; suddenly you’ll see her true heart, all social facades and such melting in the face of extreme emotion. And for some people, it may just break walls in-between them down, sort of like deathbed confessions, except in this case it’s revealing the true heart.
 
It even applies in less grimdark, more cheery and lighthearted situations sometimes, too. These are great examples! These ponies either had grudges against eachother, rivalry, were trying to look all tough to eachother, so on and so forth, but in that brief moment of terror, they forgot/put aside all of that, and just clung to eachother - found comfort in eachother’s hooves, and, well, that’s just kind of sweet and touching, if you think about it.  

 
So, yeah, I probably over-explained it a little, heh. Hope I didn’t go in too many circles, and that I explained it well enough to make sense. Also, sorry if it’s a bit too dark, but, that’s just kind of the nature of it.
 
Oh, and then there’s socksies, bows, cloaks, scarves… But those are all just really cozy and cute, as opposed to really a “fetish.”
 

 
Well, I hope I explained well and didn’t get too deep for everypony. Feel free to add your thoughts, responses, and please do explain your own fetishes. I think a lot of ponies are curious about where the appeal of vore is, for one. Just spoiler anything that gets too graphic, and spoiler or just link images with nudity or anything more than “questionable”, please. Maybe we can get a nice thread of science and understanding!
 

Oh dear. I’m really afraid of this, actually. Eh. Having doubts about if being this revealing was a good idea…  

>Explaining a fetish  
What? but unless the person in question has the fetish, they will never understand, if they do that means they have the fetish and are in denial.

@RIG  
Maybe sometimes, but I think a lot of them can make sense if explained in the right way, even if the person doesn’t have them.
 
And who knows, I think people can learn fetishes, at least by taking a new perspective… :p

@RIG  

 
I don’t think you understand anything about this, so this thread is clearly not for you.
 
That being said, I enjoy reading why others feel they have a fetish, and what makes them enjoy it, and not just “I like X because hawt” or whatever, so I will read this thread. :P

@Twilights-Secret  
It’s okay. I have nothing against whatever fetishes you like. I like to stay non judgmental.

My tastes in fetish are very well own on this site. I like inflation, most specifically when it ends…erhm…explosively. I have no shame in this.
 
At any rate, and since this gives me an outlet for my personal opinion on the matter, I’m going to science things. Less on why people “enjoy” and like it, but on the origin. If you’re interested? Then, I’ll cover why I enjoy my own.
 
The human brain, while complex, is kind of stupid and easily confused. One example is in arousal states (states of high levels of neural activity). The brain knows that its in a high state, but tends to be kinda dumb about what caused it. We have difficulty differentiating between an arousal state caused by fear, and one caused by sex for example. Look up the “bridge” study, where people who had a very high fear response (after crossing a dangerous looking bridge) found a subject (a female confederate involved in the study) as being more attractive and they (falsely) believed that the person was in turn attracted to them. The “scary movie” phenomenon is also an example.
 
Fear also causes increased heartrate and dilation of the eyes, both of which are also cues of sexual interest. So, boom, cue confused brain. Now, why is this important?
 
Because one of the main theories behind why we develop fetishes is that they’re formed from repeat pairings of something (or a singular major event) to a period of high arousal. Instead of forming a fear response (and developing a phobia) the brain paired the arousal to sexual (perhaps the event happened during a sexually formative year) event. As time goes on, this pairing becomes more intense (thinking about it while masturbating or during sex, finding images/movies of it, fantasizing about it) and forms a paraphillia.
 
I lack the capability to actually ascertain what causes those parings in a person (i.e., the events in their life that formed it to begin with), as I’m a researcher and not a clinician (That’s DKT’s job).
 
 
Now that my scientific rigmarole is done, on topic. I’ve always likened the explosive finish to a climax. After all, it’s a release of pent up energy…just with some added flying viscera. The entire thing is likened to sex. The penetration, the build up…and the climax.
 
I also love the finality. The climax to end all climaxes. Some people have chastised me in the past for liking “permanent” (read death) ends to an inflation sequence. But it’s not the “death” I like, it’s the finality. It’s the ultimate climax never to be outdone. Like an artist cutting off his hand to ensure that he never creates a work of art grander than his magnum opus.

Well, I’ve something to add the conversation; Petplay and Bondage, both of which (like diapers) go hand-in-hand with each other.
 
For me specifically, there’s a good deal of importance in the trust aspect of relationships. Bondage especially serves as a good example, because you’re putting yourself at the complete mercy of somebody you trust, somebody you know (and hope) will take care of you well. In general, there tends to be this sort of excitement of the unknown, perhaps fear of getting caught, a sort of breathlessness and wanting to see what comes next, but being unable to actually affect it, or prevent it. Again, you’ve put your trust in somebody else, and your hands are tied.
 
Badum tiss  

 
Petplay tends to already have a decent bit of bondage in it, whether it be a collar and a leash or holding to certain rules set by the master, but I like to look at it in a purely roleplaying light, where both master and pet know they’re doing this, and it’s honestly silly, but that’s why they’re doing it, it’s cute and silly and intimate, the kind of thing you wouldn’t do except with somebody you trust. It’s showing a vulnerable side to yourself, and again, knowing that you won’t be scorned or chided.  

Huh, this was an interesting read.

@Twilights-Secret
 
Given some of the things I’m into, I have no right to judge anyone for what their brain wants. :D

this will be intresting

@Twilights-Secret  
People CAN learn fetishes. It’s not impossible.  
I’ve met about 4 people on the internet that I’ve chatted with and gotten into deep conversations after explaining fetishes to them and how some of them are completely harmless and all, they’ve seen the fun in it. And actually, they’ve tried it out and enjoyed themselves! Which was really fun to see.  
This reply is also directed to anyone else concerning whether or not one can “learn” to partake in a fetish, it has happened!

@Twilights-Secret  
@Pootis Bird  
I’m pretty sure most of mine were “learned”
 
The only one I can really think of that I’ve had for most of my life is inflation

Question for this thread: can anyone “explain” the boxing fetish, if you can even call it that? There seems to be a lot of sexual art depicting women beating the shit out of one another, getting the shit beaten out of them…what’s the appeal?

@And Brother I Hurt People  
This might be wrong, and might sound a bit sexist, but maybe some people enjoy seeing other people get beat up, and most of them are straight guys?
 
Then again, I don’t have it, so im probably wrong

@And Brother I Hurt People  
not sure what kind of pictures you meant specifically, but try sadism and masochism.
 
Why is it usually women? I don’t know, maybe because they’re often way cuter and it multiplies the effect.
 
Hmm, I think i’m onto something.. The cuter - the more pleasing

@Gentlecolt
 
The cuter the better - that’s true for all of my fetishes, and pet play is pretty darn cute, too.

@And Brother I Hurt People
 
@ice1517
 
@Gentlecolt
 
Pretty much everything can be boiled down to sex and aggression. So, logically, there’d be some interplay between the two. Power and dominance are attractive qualities.

Personally, I love hearing about fetishes I don’t have (though I do have quite a few). It can be interesting because as someone who doesn’t have the fetish, I don’t always understand what aspects are appealing- though obviously it varies from person to person as well.  
For me though, I’ve had a strange desire to wear diapers ever since I was pretty much just out of them. It has gradually got stronger and more complex over time. I mainly started out just wearing them, then slowly developed into a DL, then gradually added AB play into it.

@And Brother I Hurt People  
I’m pretty positive that branches off into the sadism and masochism fetishes. “Fetishes of pain/inflicting pain for control purposes.” Probably would be something a sadist would find amusing non-the-less.

@Background Pony #6D20  
I’m oddly always interested to hear when/where/how people developed the fetish. Apparently there’s some correlation in-between AFDL’s (Adult Foal Diaper Lovers Xp ) and those who have been abused at a very young age.
 
*For those not in the know, ABDL AFDL is often used, clumping AF’s and DL’s (those who like acting like a baby, versus those who just like the diapers but don’t like acting like a foal) together because the two are often so closely related and overlap so much.
 
I find it interesting - my parents are really great (so much so, that I’m sure if my mom found out about this thing she wouldn’t even mind, heheh…), but they have argued a few times, and I particularly remember being in the middle of a diaper change when I was, oh, maybe 2 or 3, and my mom got pulled into an argument with my dad. Rather negative experience, to say the least, but fears of them being gone forever were satiated when she returned to put me in a new, clean diaper.
 
I wonder how much that single event might be the reason I have the fetish, considering that that’s one of my earliest memories, and I’ve liked diapers as long as I can remember - even when I was still wearing them. I really got a lot of extra years out of pull-up diapers, though. I never even needed them except once or twice, but still I kept wearing them at night far longer than would be considered normal. I remember being, like, 6 or 8 before I stopped, but my mom claims it was more along the lines of 4, heh. I’d wear them at night, and usually not bother changing out of them during the day if I didn’t have to go anywhere during the day. After all, they were just safety underpants Xp
 
But that bit about abuse and my own memory, there, really makes me wonder about what a major cause of the fetish might be. Psychology is always such an incredibly difficult field to work with, though. I love learning about it, but I’m never sure if what I’m being told isn’t going to be majorly discredited by the next ten psychology-educated people I run into. Some extol Freud, others claim he was pseudoscience and a fraud, some love William James instead, others think Daniel Goleman is brilliant, others say he’s nothing more than a fad, and everyone seems to be able to cite plenty of evidence to their defense, so I’m never sure what to make of it when people offer explanations based on any of their theories.  
(This is also a little bit of a reply to Zincy ‘s mention of psychological theories, that everything can be boiled down to sex or violence. I can’t remember - was that William James or Freud? Freud would have a hayday with my story about my mother changing me marking the end of a traumatic experience and me developing the fetish >.< )
 
 
As for bondage; that resulted in a funny experience of me, age of 4 or so again, asking my brother to duck tape me to a pole/support beam in our basement. I had seen some history-teaching cartoon about Joan of Arc, and I’d found myself oddly fixated on her execution, so I wanted to make-believe/play it out, so I asked my brother to tape me to the pole…
 

 
I’ve always wondered, though, aren’t you not supposed to be sexually mature until puberty? Of course I never had an “accident” from these occasions, but I still find it odd that I was playing these fetishes out before I developed any instincts or the maturity for procreation.

@Twilights-Secret
 
If you encounter anyone who extols Freud, they’re probably first year psych majors fresh off the boat. Freud’s methods are useful, his results are mostly tosh. Introspection, psychoanalysis, and the idea that stages of development exist and have weight later in life, everything else is not supported. William James is useful, but a little bit too philosophical for me. People like him, Maslow, Jung, needed more grounding in science.
 
One of the only thing Freud is still kinda sorta not discredited on was defense mechanisms, and even then he was way off base of how/why they’re used. It should be noted that Freud made no attempt to ground his ideas in science, and wasn’t trying to make psychology into a science…and also wasn’t technically a psychologist.
 
Freud would have said about diaper fetishes that you had a latent fixation that developed from complications during the anal stage of development. So basically, total bunk.
 
“I’ve always wondered, though, aren’t you not supposed to be sexually mature until puberty? Of course I never had an “accident” from these occasions, but I still find it odd that I was playing these fetishes out before I developed any instincts or the maturity for procreation. “
 
 
No, or at least not fully. Puberty means you’re now able to reproduce, sexual urges can develop much earlier. And, as with one of the only things Freud was close to base on, things that happen during early dev stages can influence stages later in life. It would have had to occur during a formative year, and it would have left an impact on your personality.

@LightningBolt  

 
I feel like I would too if Not for the fact that I’m too lazy to read it all.
 
I love this type of thing

@Too_Offensive  
It’s worth it~