[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

@KolpSlack  
What did you say?

@KolpSlack  
I could be your friend.

I almost killed myself yesterday…I know everyone says it all the time when they are sad but I wouldn’t have said that stuff unless I was at least eighty percent sure…kind of wishing I did.
 
@Background Pony #434A
 
@Carter Resado  
Long story short, I said shit about tumors in a joking way and now I think they hate me for life over it because they have had horrible loss related to tumors, in which I failed to remember because I’m too stupid to know when to keep my big fat mouth shut.

@KolpSlack  
Whats your discord?

@Carter Resado  
You first, I’ll add you.

@KolpSlack  
Like i thought not a real friend. If they don’t understand making light of shit then whats the point. Forget them. Friends are over rated.

@Lawrence Alpaca
 
Dude wtf

@Lawrence Alpaca  
You make some valid points…it just doesn’t feel the same since he’s been there for me, and I’ve spent years building this relationship…  
I’ve felt like shit for the passed few days, and I just want it to stop…  
I just wanted a best friend…I don’t really have any friends…  
Ostracized…I think that sums it up…  
I want to be mad because I never get upset like that, EVER, especially over some words…there’s just something about what he said that hurt me internally that felt different from all those other things. I felt like it broke me a little because I didn’t want to hurt him like that, even though I inevitably did so. I wasn’t even thinking about it…  
He always told me not to say it, and if I did, that I was forever an asshole…I feel like I not only betrayed him, but I betrayed myself…  
Now, it feels that I don’t really have anyone…
 
I saw it before it was removed, by the way…read it all…kind of peculiar…  
Like you said…some things are so broken there is no fixing…  
Everyone I meet never wants to stay.  
Everything I have never stays.
 
You and I share some things…but I don’t know how I can go on.

Nothing is more horrifying than meeting the person you could’ve been.

@Lawrence Alpaca  
You and I have more in common than I thought initially…at least, when it comes to relating…
 
Everyone says that I’m not terrible…then they get to know my true colors…  
I’m not trying to push anyone away, but it just seems that everyone I meet, everything I have, never stays…feelings like this can be really hard to just be okay with…
 
For example…I like you, and think we relate with each other…but I’d be afraid of hurting you…it would be nothing against you or anything…
 
Every day passed a few days ago is just getting harder and harder to keep moving forward…to prosper…everything I do is just wrong in some way, shape or form.
 
I wish I could take it all back…go back to before all my mistakes and tell myself, “Hey. Don’t do that.”  
Maybe I would be better off not existing…

I’m really tired. Can it just all be over? I hate this.

…….

@Lawrence Alpaca  
It sucks that your post got deleted. I felt like it needed to be heard.

@WinterFlower154  
Suicide instructions? Good way to lose his account.
 
I bought a pistol but changed my mind about doing it.

@Badheart  
It’s his fault that you bought a pistol? I’m sorry about that man, but dont get snappy with me just for stating my opinion, thank you very much.

@WinterFlower154  
No, I like guns.
 
He posted about some weird chemicals to use.

@Badheart  
I want a gun one day, but my parents taught me to fear guns, so I’m a little hesitant.
 
And I just feel like suicide exists and people shouldn’t sweep it under the rug. That may not be they best thought process, but hey, it’s me.

@WinterFlower154  
I’m different…very angry.

@Badheart  
I suppose your right.