Me, 9 minutes ago:
IT CAN’T WORK! I GOT 3 BED RATS
IT CAN’T WORK!
I BOUGHT A PART, A G.M. PART FOR MY 99 SUBURBAN, THEN TOLD DAD!
FOOTBALL’S NOT ON!
DARN THING BROKE! I TRIED INSTALLING IT, IT BROKE!
GO ON, THEN! WALK FOREVER! PORK PIE!
OK, now let’s not talk in “trendy cockatoo speech.”
In other words, I needed to buy the damn column shift metal part for my 99 Suburban, then I needed to remove a smaller part from it (and exchange it for the old one) so I could use all of the gears. By attempting to do so, the damn part I needed to replace (which seems to be made out of pot metal) broke in exactly the same places that the LAST TWO did.