Did you know that the concept of Satan as envisioned by modern Christianity is wholely blasphemous? After all, for disobeying His word, God condemned us to death, but by Christian standards, Satan tried to usurp His throne, corrupted His world, stole His greatest creation, and spent millions of years telling God to fuck off…and yet God not only did not punish him, but made him ruler of the physical universe? Hell, in the old Jewish traditions this would be seen as ludicrous since it implies that Satan could actually challenge or defeat God in some capacity, and Yahweh is meant to have no equal.
Also, I wanna hatefuck Laurasparkling.
Also also, Friedburg and Seltzer.