I’m starting to come to terms with the reality that I’ll never be happy and I just gotta live with it.
I just have to learn to numb myself from living with a painful existence.
It’s sad but true. Everything in this world only gets worse, never better. Our lives might suck now but what is to come is nothing compared to what we’re dealing with now. You’re just going to have to accept that you’ll never be happy and just deal with it.
It’s amazing how I’ve been depressed my whole life, have been driven to suicide many times, and somehow I’m still alive. I should have died years ago, or actually, I should have never been born. Call me a “doomer” or anything else you want, but the sad truth is things only get worse in this world, and any hope should be given up, because I see hope as harmful. It keeps us from giving up what cannot be done.
Derpibooru has driven me to insanity, this entire fandom and MLP as a whole has. I could leave this fandom at anytime but can’t bring myself to do it. I have no friends in real life (I don’t even go anywhere, and I’ve been like that long before Covid began). On here, I have one friend. I won’t say his name (though anyone who knows me probably knows who I’m talking about) but befriending him was probably one of the worst mistakes I’ve ever made. To think if I never talked to this user, I would have never made an account here (I would have remained a background pony), would have never drawn art (which is another mistake I’ve made), and I probably wouldn’t be here right now. I’d likely be better off (or worse off). To be honest, I don’t even have a life outside Derpibooru and other forums, imageboards. I should have died by now.