Despite how much I’ve been hurt in my life, despite how much I’ve stumbled and fallen, I still choose to love in an apathetic world, I still choose to see beauty and love, to try and find meaning in the suffering. I’ve made a lot of mistakes but I still want to be better.I will be better. Giving up is when you’ve truly lost. Choosing to stand your ground when the world wants to bury you beneath it is one of the hardest things you can do. We’re only here for just a moment in the light, and despite how awful things can get, making the best of it instead of letting that light get snuffed out by the cruel world that surrounds you is the option I want to choose. When I die I want to die with peace of mind. Once you die, it’s over. That’s it, do you really want to spend your life regretting it? Regretting your existence? The fact that you even exist is so rare and beautiful. Don’t take it for granted. You never know when it might end.
Death, is something I’m intensely afraid of, even though in the past I’ve said I wanted it, I never really meant it. I just wanted the constant pain and hopelessness I felt to stop. I think about it far more than any 24 year old should be thinking about it, it’s probably a long way off in the future before it’ll happen, or I could find out that I have stage 4 cancer and that would be that… no one knows if there’s another plain of existence after this. We don’t know what’s on the other side. Why would you want to die? Why would you want to be nothing? The idea terrifies me. But I still want to believe that there’s going to be something, that there’s meaning to this existence.
Hold onto whatever you hold dear to you in this life as tightly as you can. You never know when it could be gone. Choose to love, don’t give in. Appreciate the little things in this life, hold onto each other. Help make the world a better place in anyway you can. An act of kindness can save someone’s life, one selfless act begets another. We’re only here for just a moment in the light, make it count. Make it mean something. Pursue what you love.