[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

deactivated686beb

You know, I’ve always just wanted people to like me. I’ve joined so many different discord servers, mostly MLP ones and usually everyone always ends up hating me and I end up getting banned or I’ll leave when I see I’m no longer wanted. I’m a very strongly opinionated person who struggles with depression and having a clear state of mind. My mind constantly races, thinking about the past, all the people I’ve lost.
Same here, except I don’t really care anymore if people like me or not. I’ve gotten used to being banned, hated, or ignored.
I invite you to endchan (deepweb)
I’ve been on endchan before and i’ve seen better. If I can’t post shit without enabling cookies to solve a block bypass then it’s not worth my time.
Beth
Silly Pony - Celebrated the 13th anniversary of MLP:FIM, and 40 years of MLP!
Shimmering Smile - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of Equestria Girls!
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Elements of Harmony - Had an OC in the 2022 Community Collab
Tree of Harmony - Drew someone's OC for the 2022 Community Collab
Verified Pegasus - Show us your gorgeous wings!
Preenhub - We all know what you were up to this evening~
Philomena - For helping others attend the 2021 community collab
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary

In digital purgatory
Most of the time criticism/ opposition isn’t personal.
If you go around assuming everyone wants to attack and break down your character you will turn into a monster, because you’ll start doing for real what you only imagine other people doing.
Kicks24Sf
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Non-Fungible Trixie -
Preenhub - We all know what you were up to this evening~
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition

Despite how much I’ve been hurt in my life, despite how much I’ve stumbled and fallen, I still choose to love in an apathetic world, I still choose to see beauty and love, to try and find meaning in the suffering. I’ve made a lot of mistakes but I still want to be better.I will be better. Giving up is when you’ve truly lost. Choosing to stand your ground when the world wants to bury you beneath it is one of the hardest things you can do. We’re only here for just a moment in the light, and despite how awful things can get, making the best of it instead of letting that light get snuffed out by the cruel world that surrounds you is the option I want to choose. When I die I want to die with peace of mind. Once you die, it’s over. That’s it, do you really want to spend your life regretting it? Regretting your existence? The fact that you even exist is so rare and beautiful. Don’t take it for granted. You never know when it might end.
Death, is something I’m intensely afraid of, even though in the past I’ve said I wanted it, I never really meant it. I just wanted the constant pain and hopelessness I felt to stop. I think about it far more than any 24 year old should be thinking about it, it’s probably a long way off in the future before it’ll happen, or I could find out that I have stage 4 cancer and that would be that… no one knows if there’s another plain of existence after this. We don’t know what’s on the other side. Why would you want to die? Why would you want to be nothing? The idea terrifies me. But I still want to believe that there’s going to be something, that there’s meaning to this existence.
Hold onto whatever you hold dear to you in this life as tightly as you can. You never know when it could be gone. Choose to love, don’t give in. Appreciate the little things in this life, hold onto each other. Help make the world a better place in anyway you can. An act of kindness can save someone’s life, one selfless act begets another. We’re only here for just a moment in the light, make it count. Make it mean something. Pursue what you love.
Beth
Silly Pony - Celebrated the 13th anniversary of MLP:FIM, and 40 years of MLP!
Shimmering Smile - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of Equestria Girls!
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Elements of Harmony - Had an OC in the 2022 Community Collab
Tree of Harmony - Drew someone's OC for the 2022 Community Collab
Verified Pegasus - Show us your gorgeous wings!
Preenhub - We all know what you were up to this evening~
Philomena - For helping others attend the 2021 community collab
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary

In digital purgatory
@Background Pony #F363
Don’t try to stop yourself, apparently it’s therapeutic.
When I think about sad things my thoughts and body movement just kinda stop for a bit, when I eventually cry about something it will seem random, and about everything.
KolpSlack
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Non-Fungible Trixie -
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition

Reborn Reject
I have been repressing my emotions a lot in an effort not to cry all day. I seem to be able to trick my mind into thinking I’m happy a lot of the time, when in reality, I want to cease existing and start over. Other times, I few emotionless and numb. Very rarely do I feel good.
Background Pony #FDEF
“You’re the most important person in my life, I love you so much”
“yes, good friends”
Yeah, sure, that’s all it will ever be… Friends…
WTF_IT_HAS_BECOME
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition

I feel a hell inside me…physically Like I read this whole site zoinks. I also watched irl series. What comics to read or fanfic with images.
Hope I get nootropic drugs from my acquaintance doctor.
Beth
Silly Pony - Celebrated the 13th anniversary of MLP:FIM, and 40 years of MLP!
Shimmering Smile - Celebrated the 10th anniversary of Equestria Girls!
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Elements of Harmony - Had an OC in the 2022 Community Collab
Tree of Harmony - Drew someone's OC for the 2022 Community Collab
Verified Pegasus - Show us your gorgeous wings!
Preenhub - We all know what you were up to this evening~
Philomena - For helping others attend the 2021 community collab
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary

In digital purgatory
@WTF_IT_HAS_BECOME
Nootropics are something I’ve been fascinated with for a long time. I got a doctor to prescribe me alziemers medication called Donepazil, since my neurocognitive exam showed unspecified cognitive disorder.
I also tried an unregulated nootropic called Omberacetam.
It’s hard to tell how these things can increase function, motivation, memory or reaction speed, a lot of the time it’s just exercise, mindset, diet and informed training that helps people, the nootropics might give someone a sense of confidence.
A lot of people with organization, or motivation issues might find themselves prescribed amphetamines, or dopamine reuptake inhibitor, but these are too much for me, and i can’t really get them anyway, besides Donepazil. because i have a history with illegal drugs.
Medical marijuana is legal here, and I use it. I can’t wait until more research is done for Marijunas effects on task salience and motivation. Marijuanna makes me plow through my work, makes others get well needed sleep, I might be resistant to sedation, or already well rested.
MethidMan
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Roseluck - Had their OC in the 2023 Derpibooru Collab.
Elements of Harmony - Had an OC in the 2022 Community Collab
Non-Fungible Trixie -
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2020) - Took part in the 2020 Community Collab
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2018) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.
Artist -

Ever since I started this job I’ve been very miserable and isolated…
My life is shit and no matter how hard I try to think about it, no matter how badly I need relief, there really is nothing I can do about it… There is just too much push from family who love me in a horribly misguided way to only allow themselves to die happy if I have a family… It really is a hopeless life and lately I’ve been considering ending my life as the only escape…
Gentlecolt
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Wallet After Summer Sale -
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

Most of the time criticism/ opposition isn’t personal.
If you go around assuming everyone wants to attack and break down your character you will turn into a monster, because you’ll start doing for real what you only imagine other people doing.
This has been relevant to me recently, though I don’t know what to do about it. It has come to seem reasonable to assume the worst and it’s chewing on the last bits of empathy I have for my fellow man.
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