[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

I am sorry. For very, VERY personal reasons related to the war in Ukraine, I feel absolutely unable to post anything in this thread at the moment.

I could go on and on about how my own grandfather was wounded in Ukraine at the time and was nursed back to health by Ukrainian peasants. I would not exist FACTUALLY if it were not for compassionate Ukrainians. Those who know me know that I am very highly sensitive to these things.

My desire to volunteer as a fighter was revoked by the German government. Probably because… Reasons. I am sitting on my packed backpack right now and feel relatively useless. I am going through the horror of not being able to make up for a debt I have incurred.

And therefore: I am sorry. Sorry because I’m smoking cigarette after cigarette, not trying to drown my sorrow in alcohol and because I’m feeling a lot of hatred (not towards the Russian people), but because I’m simply not able to make up for this debt.

There is not enough wine in the Rhine right now to wash away my sorrow…

War is like a mass suicide, pointless deaths in the end, only to create more sorrows, and proving that humanity is such a cruel race, I much prefer natural disasters over wars anytime.

Maybe some day there will be a draft and I’ll fight along side DarkObsidian, one can only hope.

Meh. I fought in Afghanistan then because our allies were attacked, I would do it again. And as always as a medic, as someone who gets the guys to safety and takes care of them. I don’t have a personal aggressive mentality. All I want to do is protect the lives of my allies. Amen.

And as I said, I feel completely useless right now at 41 years old. As a German. If I were Ukrainian, I would be on the front lines right now. Where I belong. F**king… UCH!

Edit: I may post my pistol publicly. My rifle… Um, let’s say that we Germans have our own… rules.

Edit Edit: For some reason, this just makes me even more depressed… Europe is under attack and I can’t go there. Hurra! That’s called peace policy. :-/

With you by my side, I would look ANY enemy in the face. Even if, as soldiers, we mostly wade through some mud in the background and wait for our opportunity. Unfortunately, it’s usually not as cool as in the movies. But we both would have our chance. And we protect our comrades.

But if you ever need someone to watch your back. Just ask me. But please get me the weapons locally. Hell, the US borders are tight! ;-D

@DarkObsidian
That means a lot to me.

I am serious and always hope for your well-being. If I were a Christian believer, I would pray for you every day. But I believe in the old gods and expect you one day together in Valhalla.

[Note: No matter how depressed and drunk I get sometimes (well, I only drink wine anyway), I am VERY serious about such things]

If Odin (my lord) had an account, his hashtag would be: ValhallaIsForThoseWhoStruggletInLife

As long as we protect the others. It doesn’t always have to be the family or our own happiness. Odin knows who is fighting in his/her/them life. And fighting does not necessarily mean killing someone. As long as we face that is against us and our fellow man.

But I am just a simple person. What do I know about the gods? ;-)

Death Metal is exploding!

I’ll make an effort to stay alive so I can hear it all.

Sigh…

@DarkObsidian
Ok, nice pistol you got there (damn, I am a bit jealous you can use it to exit life anytime, but since you have a reason to live, well…), since I am an Asian, most Asians commoners are banned from posting and carrying arms…

Honestly, I flip a coin every day to try not to press the trigger. One for shit day. Another for an almost good day. Should the coin ever fall differently, well…. But in the meantime, I’d rather wait for the Putin-lovers to get to East Germany. Then I’ll get a red cape, call myself Snow White and blow myself up along with an enemy tank. At least that way, life wasn’t completely fucked.

@DarkObsidian
So will you ever reply to what I said or no?

Ah yes! I’m so sorry… I’ll get to work right away. Sorry. Between all the crises at the moment I don’t even know where my head is anymore.

It is now Sunday 12 o’clock in Germany. I’ll copy your text first and think about it. Sorry again…

Did you delete your post about your ex-girlfriend or am I just stupid to find it…

Ah, my attention is just a hole in the air at the moment…

Just help me please. What was it about? I am so sorry. I’m just too inattentive sometimes.

@Kicks24Sf
This

@DarkObsidian
Erm

I’m horrible

Well law-oriented question: euthanasia for depression in Holandy?
also: (suggestive)

Stay the hell away from drugs, you’ll get caught up with some bad motherfuckers.

I’m feeling a lot less generous.

@Badheart
Good advice.

@Badheart
Yep, you’ll deal with people who either only want your money, or only want to get high.

They’ll try to get you hooked to whatever they’re addicted to, so your money will get sucked into it as well.

I had a dream about going back to visit my friend in the hospital, I hope he’s alright.

My blood pressure is so low… Depression > Schizos.
Roleplaying: somepony cheer me up
NSFW:****NSFW:****NSFW:****NSFW:deepweeb, some stuff I would discuss there… Update topic

One of my best friends in the whole world just passed away in one of the worst ways possible. Why does bad shit always happen to me and everyone and everything around me?