[Dark] Depression/Suicides within the fandom (The revival)

We need to be strong…..

@Badheart
I agree.

Looking at the sheer number of people also facing hardship is humbling.

We all have to find our inner strengths and help each other.

@Beth
I am not strong enough. I am but a mere meat husk reacting on impulse and habit and to say I am of little use is an understatement, which would imply I am useful, which I am not. I think my body is too damaged.

Every time in life I’m always the scapegoat to put someone on their high horse.

In the future I’ll likely have no one to turn to, I fear what will become of myself.

Ever since the very moment I was conceived people wanted to get rid of me.

I’m a bastard child with no connections in life and no future to hope for.

Being diagnosed with schizophrenia, best thing I can do for this world is drop dead.

Had my own post already in General Discussions, was asking for help. Just recently.

I want to die.

Is completely ceasing to exist more appealing to you than living?

Everything just turning pitch black. Except it’s not even that cause you just don’t exist. It’s just absolutely nothing. Killing yourself doesn’t fix anything, it just removes the possibility that it’ll ever get better.

@Kicks24Sf
I’m not going to kill myself. I just want to cry it out and feel better like everybody else.

I have derealization disorder…might just blast myself.

It’s hopeless. Only negative thoughts.

Thinking about jumping today…

I don’t know how I feel.
Or how to describe it.
All I know is that it’s terrible and makes me feel like wanting to be dead.

*whriting pitbulls not writing. That would be funny lol.

@Beth
At least you admit your wrong doings.

But Autism isn’t mental illness, it is only just a neurotype, correct it.

Chris Chan on the other hand… has mental illnesses those stemmed from entirely egoistic and ignorance.

@Background Pony #7DD0
I grasped onto the social expectation of autism being an illness. I know it’s not an illness, it’s an adaptation to illness, including familiar psychosocial illness. Might be a response to inflammation disorder in brain, could be linked to Tylenol but God knows let’s not make assumptions.

My autistic brother is the only sibling that does real work. In IT and logistics engineer.

Autistic brother was our scape goat. Dad punished him to avoid punishing me. Dad only got super violent towards me when autistic brother ran away.

’Treating ’ autism might actually involve fixing the way society treats autism.

That trans god-complex chronic online weirdo does need people who treat them honestly without motives of exploitation or infamy.

Another woman’s heart breaks as I say nothing, all at the destruction of my humanity.

@Beth
We Aspergers Autistic are sick of being scapegoats to bigoted ableist neurotypicals, hence why, we need to not only be adaptive and more assertive, we need neurotypical allies to back up as well to outnumber the ableist bullies.

@Background Pony #7DD0
He’s kinda successful now. There is a reason I don’t ask him for things, because what you just said is exactly what happened.

Me and my dad are both narccissistic neurotypicals. Would gladly use the word autistic for myself if it suited me, then exploit an actual autistic person. I’m no longer like this, mostly stopped being a asshole when I left my dad, until i get stressed out enough

Brother got a differential diagnosis of aspergers. He’s quite socially aware and capable. For a while he would prefer to be called aspergers because he got tired of people using autism as an insult.

I’m prob just borderline, confusing manic behaviors, and rapid glorifying/devaluing of life values, as well as delusions of grandeur and intense fear of abandonment. I think it means being on the border of crazy and just neurotic. Malingering and self diagnosing as antisocial are par for the coarse, so is the disassociation I think autistic people have too.

This is cluster b stuff, i have issues sometimes like autism, but more obviously something else.. You’re not susposed to mention cluster b stuff with anyone on the internet, just your therapist. This account is where I make edgy art, and speak honestly, no employer will know who Beth is, been thinking about cleaning up and rebranding anyway (while keeping the name and character I’m using for my friends).

Lot of TMI I’m sure, I’ll be careful so it doesn’t fuck up my ability to get work. The art commissions are going to be done in a new order (where pay is after) this way has no trouble getting work. After I catch up on some work I owe people though. I got to stay looking for regular work in the meantime, no place to live would mean no art.

@Beth
Good progression.

Actually now I feel like jumping after today.