Background Pony #DE66
i sexually identify as an apache attack helicopter
I am a girl. Some would call me a trans girl, but I don’t like thinking of myself as trans. I’m just a girl, simple as that. I’d rather remain anonymous for personal reasons.
I’m on hormone therapy and have been for over 8 months, and I have identified as female for at least 2 years, very likely for quite a lot longer, however I am unsure of that so I won’t count it. I was afraid to start the hormone therapy, was afraid of bad therapists, but as it turned out it was a lot easier than expected, and here I am.
Most of my family and coworkers still see me as male, people on the street see me as male (I generally don’t try too hard to appear more feminine), unless I actually go out of my way to dress in a more feminine way, in that case I’m generally referred to as female (which is nice and makes me eeeee on the inside), people online generally see me as female, my SO also sees me as a girl. I came out to my family but not to my coworkers, and family try to tell me they accept me and shit, but in reality it’s too difficult for them to bend their idiotic traditional beliefs and actually refer to me as my new name, and new pronouns. To them I’m still a MaNlY mAn named <old name here> who shall me referred to only as he/him to boost HIS testosterone and MASCULINITY. Yeah right, I have less testosterone in my blood than other females of my family. They only care about what my papers say, they told me “we’ll only refer to you as female once your ID says you’re female”. A PAPER IF FUCKING MORE IMPORTANT TO THEM THAN ME. Argh. Also sorry for this outburst, this makes me very, very angry when I think about it.
I’ve had a lot of deep depression related to my gender issue, but again my SO managed to calm me down most of the time. It’s mostly related to people and family not seeing me for who I am, and a lot of people being after me if they learn of my identity somehow. I tend to keep the fact that I’m not originally female a secret, it’s easier this way. 99.99% of the people on the internet have no legitimate reason to know whether I’m cis or trans female, it’s not like I’m gonna meet them in person or bed them. I generally tell everyone who I intend to meet in person about it, and those people are generally cool about it, but there’s an occasional asshat who would use that information as leverage against me and hurt me in the worst way possible, by telling everyone what they know about me (that actually happened), outing me for 0 reason whatsoever, just because they didn’t like a joke I made about them, so they wanted to get back at me.
Once I started taking hormones I didn’t really notice that many differences between how I was before and how I have gotten. I’ve been very emotional and depressed all of my life, and that remained the same. My body started changing, I have breasts now, my skin is softer, my hairy is a lot less oily, and I don’t get nearly as many pimples anymore, my body have doesn’t grow as fast and my facial hair also grows slower and is softer to the touch, and that’s about all that happened. I didn’t need pills to feel like I’m a girl, to think like one. I just knew I was a girl, and I’ve always had a compassionate and kind mindset. It’s always been more interesting to me to play with girls than boys (although there were some boys who I liked playing with as a kid), it was mostly social pressure (I come from a country where gender roles are strictly enforced by society) that forced me to behave more masculine, as soon as I moved to a different country and this pressure went away, I became a lot more… like myself. I could finally be who I am without fear.
I guess I should talk about LGBT in general now, don’t I? Despite being a lesbian girl, I’m not very accepting of a concept of more than 2 genders. I accept that people might want to be referred to as they/them, I interpret it as “I don’t want to tell you my gender because I don’t see it as important”, but anything other than male/female is just… it doesn’t really compute in my head.
Additionally, I think that people who put too much emphasis on their gender and make it their lifestyle are also wrong. Your gender is supposed to just be that, a gender. It’s not supposed to be who you are about. Regardless of your gender you can be anything and anyone you want. Yet I see people make a fetish out of it, and put so much emphasis on it… it just… makes me a bit ashamed of being a part of the LGBT community in the first place.
Thank you for reading,
~A generic Derpibooru user who checked the “Anonymous” checkbox.
I am a girl. Some would call me a trans girl, but I don’t like thinking of myself as trans. I’m just a girl, simple as that. I’d rather remain anonymous for personal reasons.
I’m on hormone therapy and have been for over 8 months, and I have identified as female for at least 2 years, very likely for quite a lot longer, however I am unsure of that so I won’t count it. I was afraid to start the hormone therapy, was afraid of bad therapists, but as it turned out it was a lot easier than expected, and here I am.
Most of my family and coworkers still see me as male, people on the street see me as male (I generally don’t try too hard to appear more feminine), unless I actually go out of my way to dress in a more feminine way, in that case I’m generally referred to as female (which is nice and makes me eeeee on the inside), people online generally see me as female, my SO also sees me as a girl. I came out to my family but not to my coworkers, and family try to tell me they accept me and shit, but in reality it’s too difficult for them to bend their idiotic traditional beliefs and actually refer to me as my new name, and new pronouns. To them I’m still a MaNlY mAn named <old name here> who shall me referred to only as he/him to boost HIS testosterone and MASCULINITY. Yeah right, I have less testosterone in my blood than other females of my family. They only care about what my papers say, they told me “we’ll only refer to you as female once your ID says you’re female”. A PAPER IF FUCKING MORE IMPORTANT TO THEM THAN ME. Argh. Also sorry for this outburst, this makes me very, very angry when I think about it.
I’ve had a lot of deep depression related to my gender issue, but again my SO managed to calm me down most of the time. It’s mostly related to people and family not seeing me for who I am, and a lot of people being after me if they learn of my identity somehow. I tend to keep the fact that I’m not originally female a secret, it’s easier this way. 99.99% of the people on the internet have no legitimate reason to know whether I’m cis or trans female, it’s not like I’m gonna meet them in person or bed them. I generally tell everyone who I intend to meet in person about it, and those people are generally cool about it, but there’s an occasional asshat who would use that information as leverage against me and hurt me in the worst way possible, by telling everyone what they know about me (that actually happened), outing me for 0 reason whatsoever, just because they didn’t like a joke I made about them, so they wanted to get back at me.
Once I started taking hormones I didn’t really notice that many differences between how I was before and how I have gotten. I’ve been very emotional and depressed all of my life, and that remained the same. My body started changing, I have breasts now, my skin is softer, my hairy is a lot less oily, and I don’t get nearly as many pimples anymore, my body have doesn’t grow as fast and my facial hair also grows slower and is softer to the touch, and that’s about all that happened. I didn’t need pills to feel like I’m a girl, to think like one. I just knew I was a girl, and I’ve always had a compassionate and kind mindset. It’s always been more interesting to me to play with girls than boys (although there were some boys who I liked playing with as a kid), it was mostly social pressure (I come from a country where gender roles are strictly enforced by society) that forced me to behave more masculine, as soon as I moved to a different country and this pressure went away, I became a lot more… like myself. I could finally be who I am without fear.
I guess I should talk about LGBT in general now, don’t I? Despite being a lesbian girl, I’m not very accepting of a concept of more than 2 genders. I accept that people might want to be referred to as they/them, I interpret it as “I don’t want to tell you my gender because I don’t see it as important”, but anything other than male/female is just… it doesn’t really compute in my head.
Additionally, I think that people who put too much emphasis on their gender and make it their lifestyle are also wrong. Your gender is supposed to just be that, a gender. It’s not supposed to be who you are about. Regardless of your gender you can be anything and anyone you want. Yet I see people make a fetish out of it, and put so much emphasis on it… it just… makes me a bit ashamed of being a part of the LGBT community in the first place.
Thank you for reading,
~A generic Derpibooru user who checked the “Anonymous” checkbox.