@Flutter_Lover
Man. I cant help with existential crisis because I’m in it too.
Just wondering. Why do you
want to be black? As in, how important is your blackness as opposed to your other identities? American, brony, geek, artist, etc.
If your blackness is the most important thing, have you considered,
really considered what blackness is?
Color of the skin? facial structure, body size, being from a certain parts of the country? Having ancestors from Africa? Having a certain culture, or what?
Black community has like a ton of academic materials on black identity throughout the ages so my advice is to find the smartest black person you know and ask them the question: what makes you think you’re black and why is that important to you?
Also you will have to prepare yourself for the possibility that, you may not want to be black. That is a decision you gotta make, tbh.
I’m sorry for your emotional hardship.