Vent thread

@Mr.Myoozik
Not to sound like a teacher or parent but perfection takes time my guy. Don’t rush perfection when you know you have to learn.

@Mr.Myoozik
It’s good to get some more experience under your belt before you take on a test like that

@Penguin Dragneel
Fucking ow

@14Fan
You are sounding like that, and it wasn’t “rushing it” as in they want me to get it as soon as possible just to get it over with, more in the sense that we never expected that I needed more practice because we don’t have any free time to practice.

@Mr.Myoozik
Oh, well, f#ck me then (actually don’t)

I always get this feelgood sensation in my mind whenever I knock out and break their jaws of all those who antagonizes me.

Is it weird that when I get in a vehicular accident, all I care about more is the condition of my vehicle than my own wellbeing? Like if my scooter breaks, I would have to wake up even earlier to take the bus and I would have to spend money for a new one. If something about me breaks I at least would have an excuse to not go to work.

So since I’m now forbidden to throw temper tantrums around here, now I posted my vent instead on my Facebook and now I got Facebook Jail for 30 days.

@Khamzat Chimaev
First; sigh. You could have done this via a PM or on Support, but you’re posting publicly, so … ok. Public it is. Double sigh.

I don’t know what you posted on Facebook, but based on past experiences I’m sure if you posted it here you would have gotten you the same result. Just like last time. And the time before.

But, importantly, it’s not “now forbidden” - it’s never, ever been ok. And never will be. If even a site like Facebook can’t afford the lawyers to handle what you periodically post, then you certainly know there’s no hope for a volunteer fan site like this. We’d just end up shutting down, and there’s a non-zero chance that some of the admins or the owner might spend the rest of their life having to report their movements to the police, or hand out brochures to neighbors when they move.

And I am pretty sure you know that, too. Very very well.

So I assume your couching it like you did, and posting publicly about it, because there’s something you want to say but can’t. And not being able to express yourself is a problem that we need to do something about, or we will end up exactly where we were last time.

Cause - this is like a Disney ride. We seem to be on rails, going through the same motions again and again, and vague posting like you just did is exactly what happened every time before.

So - send me a PM. Let it out on me. I won’t ban you for what you send in the PM.

And do let me know in the PM if you even want a response. If the first sentence is “Delete before reading” then that’s what I’ll do.

@Just Wayne
That sounds like low self esteem

Just got rejected for yet another job.

Man, job hunting sucks!

Oof… I hate when my anxiety spikes like paranoia…

I’m sorry, it’s hard to explain, but due to some situations that I have to go through I’m in a room where random teenagers come and go to try break in or spit threats or insults or what not through the door, (Think of a cage in a zoo, and the stupid customers trying to get in or annoy the tiger). The door is locked, but uh… There’s a way for them to enter, and listening “Get in, get in up there!” Of a couple teenagers that are banging the door and slamming it while I’m having an anxiety breakdown because I’d rather prefer them to not acknowledge I exist, makes me… Um… Yeah…

I really can’t assure if they wanna hurt me, it might be just me being anxious over nothing, but they just seem like wanting to enter because there’s 1000 dollars or something… Last time they threw a rock or something through the door, which is kinda open. (Something like this). Also, they seem the thug kind of teens that’d steal your stuff outside

I really don’t want to hurt anybody… But I don’t know how I’d react if one of those guys gets in. I try my best for them to not notice me when they peek through the door…

I’m really sorry…
I apologize if I inconvenienced someone…
Thank you for deleting that message, I just needed some way to express my feelings.

@Background Pony #E9D4
Maybe you should breathe for a bit and rest. Take a break.

@Background Pony #E9D4
I would gladly knock the shit out of those guys.

Sadly I can’t, but I appreciate your kindness. College’s kicking my butt all over the linoleum floor and I have to keep up Yay perfectionism on me, I can’t genuinely handle disappointing people, teachers, parents, mods, cops, any authority figure, trust me. My heart skipped three beats when I saw the red letters on my earlier message. (Doesn’t help that college is the reason I’m stuck here. It’s about a few hundred/thousand kilometres closer to where I originally was, and I get back in 3 hours less, it’s a bit beneficial in that sense… But it’s also unhealthy for my… Uh… Psychological health…)

@Background Pony #E9D4
Well if you need to talk to someone, by all means.

@Mr.Myoozik
It’s more like fear of inconvenience than anything.

Screw morning shift! Screw waking up early in the morning! Screw having to get to work at 6 AM! Screw having to wake up at 5:30 AM! Screw having to carry heavy eyelids while working! Screw making me stay for 1 hour and a half longer because there is more time! Screw still having to do so much labor work with a tired body! Night shifts are better! I can enjoy the cool night breeze after getting my body all heated up from working. I can go to work with a fully rested body and energy. And most importantly, I can sleep until whenever I want! I want to work at night more!

I’m trying to get back into research.

This job I’m in now is stifling. Our department is underfunded, understaffed, and underwater. We barely have the resources we need to function and we are all doing the jobs of three people for the pay of one.

It’s a grinding, broken mess.

Nobody cares about my research.

I go it alone so fuck to you.

@Zincy
Still in a government-backed position?

Unfortunately, the position I applied for at a private hospital turned me down. So I’m still stuck here. Dealing with the slow decay of my entire department.

I applied for a consumer research job last night. Going to follow up on it today. Would put me back in a field I have more experience in.

@Khamzat Chimaev
Sometimes I am nervous talking to you.

You have a good heart, I’m worried about the anger and impulsive behavior. I feel like attempts to help could actually make you more angry and impulsive.

Your body is trying to fight, but the front of your head can make it even. Don’t let people get you so angry.

I make trivial attempts to hide it, but I’m almost as angry and probably more impulsive.

Sometimes the best behavior of a fighter is deciding when things aren’t worth the fight. You can drive yourself crazy with the fighter mindset, and all the poor stupid assholes you meet on the Internet.

Not everything is a fight. Some people are just stupid and irritating, your smoke sometimes won’t help.