POEM / Journal thing

SilverDrPepper
Artist -

Hope Wisdom Purpose;  
Suddenly, I see life as one of those things as to where I almost see no care of being in it anymore. I am more of a fantasy type. Although, generally, I stay strong. I have no idea on what awaits, unless it is the ‘same thing, different day.’ -case scenario. Generosity, kindness, and honesty, all being things that are hard to keep when providing, depending on some of what you guard. You never leave your guard completely down, until you’ve given trust towards the one you think fits for the position of being a friend or a mentor. And that goes for anyone; I’m not talking about my retired, instructor-friend.
 
Why so harsh on myself? Why do I see no surprise to the ways of life; if until, I see acceptance and sanctuary, I am still gonna be generally depressed. Distressed, emotional, about what things outcomes usually are, neither good or bad, but just the action. It all seems to be like a case of constant doubt and worries that have a hard time washing away. Like, a red stain on a white carpet, so deep, so old, most soaps lack any ability to scrub what remains of this substance was once before.
 
 
The doubt I hold; It’s seemingly pointless. The anxiety comes along with it. Then it all just creates the stress. And this is just the common depression, right? No? Or am I seeing that I am on the spot of being a drama-queen . . . I wouldn’t say so. Nor would I say that I am a person who wants desperate attention, that’s only sometimes, depending on how severe the depression gets.
 
Have you ever had the thought. . . of that worry that you might see no way to your meaning? ‘Meaning?’, you ask. . . That’s right, “Meaning.” Where you stand, how it ascends, how it goes to provide more for those around you, and it how it means.. for any case. I see that the only way to have a meaning in life, is to create it. You need your skills to firstly, be looked at and improved, and not only that. There’s more than just a few of mountain climbing sessions. Avoid space, that’s very tedious, in my opinion. This planet. . . our people . . . you-me. Where do we see a destination to our purpose? We don’t, we simply create it, to then assess it, but not to take it for granite. . .?
 
 
Taking a purpose for granite? Does that even make sense? Does that meet any means, to mean anything? Did that last question make sense? I worry if things I say ever seem to make sense, due to a common state of depression, ‘want of being alone’ or, . . ‘temporarily’, in some cases. And being alone can cause udder symptoms like, lack of motivation, coming from doubt, destroying confidence -that also applies to avoiding embarrassment in the first. In which promotes the fact of, ‘help’, not being there. Without confidence, you lack ability to reach most motivational experience. Being alone all depends though. Anyway.. Researched it; it’s actually “take for granted”. There are two meanings. . -but it’s about, ‘taking something true without the actual truth behind it’. Where am I getting at? You abject. Probably. Says, ‘the doubt’ I have. Just think of it. You see nothing, but this paragraph now, right?
 
 
 
 
But now you see this one. This is an additional paragraph. Why is it, that I started a new one? I’ll tell you. It’s because I simply am creating a contradiction, starting by making you think. But, does that give answers to what was questioned? Yes. Because you continued reading. Therefore, you see that you’ve acquired this information, for the purpose that is coming from it. And that my readers, is learning; that I took the journal for granted by putting something seemingly of euphemism, only caused question to see if purpose was behind this current paragraph. To make you think. “Just think of it. You see nothing, but this paragraph now, right?” No, You see more that that. Truth! Destroying doubt! Destroying embarrassment. Building confidence. Where there is no doubt, there is more to know; making the acknowledgment of your purpose becomes stronger.
 
 
 
 
Still confused? I’m not lecturing entirely. I’m mixing my self lectures with the, ‘about’ of who I am. We all have our own lectures after observations. We then form opinions that then form facts or just. . . opinions. From that, we learn from what was created or gained. We then assess it and put it into a diagram, or a journal, or keep it in memory. After that, we have the ability to use it to help us, to then; help others. Though, helping others isn’t just the whole part of it, unless, the giving of ‘help’ is the intentionally, ‘main course’, for your purpose. It’s mainly to help your perspective of life and create your purpose, whilst taking correction and avoiding what was took for granted. Boom! Answered; You see more after, than just that paragraph.
 
–Innauth
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