DarkObsidian 
Smiling Panzerfuchs 2.0
[@Hollowfox The Worst](/forums/generals/topics/stupid-stuff-that-comes-to-mind-that-we-want-to-post?post_id=5259349#post_5259349)
A is for Abrotzen (when a soldier "snorts", this has very unpleasant consequences for his surroundings - because he 'contaminates' the surroundings with lead-containing sputters of 7.62 caliber)
B is for Beruhigungspille (chill pill - Model 39 grenade, throw and the opponent is quiet)
C is for Clubkarte (A club card exists only for the German Air Force; in other branches of the Bundeswehr, this is called a troop ID card)
D is for Dumm-Fick (Absolutely unnecessary activity. For example, cleaning weapons when you have nothing else to do.)
E is for EPa (Einmannpackung: one-man (food) package or also: vomit packaged in portions)
F is for Flammenwerfer
G is for Gummifotze (Gas mask, makes any soldier look like a frog or hardcore fetishist)
H is for Hans (First name of every maintenance soldier)
I is for Infanterist (Infantryman - soldier who has a very close and intimate contact with Mother Nature. For him, the horizon is the tuft of grass in front of his nose; as a rule, his mental horizon does not extend any further. After all, he does not need to think, only to obey)
J is for Jäger (Hunters - Poor pigs who still have to go through the full program even after completing AGA (General basic training). Hunters therefore usually have a very intimate relationship with Mother Nature...)
K is for Klappspaten (also called NATO excavator. Instrument for creating weals on the inner surfaces of both gripping tools. It can be used to dig deep holes (trenches), split the enemy's skull or fry fried eggs on it)
L is for LKU (Life skills training - Two-hour deep sleep training for soldiers. Unfortunately, due to their sleep deficit, most of them miss the extremely interesting explanations of the priest why a mangled, aborted fetus is a grave sin before God, but an enemy soldier torn apart by bullets and shells is part of their mission and thus a work pleasing to God)
M is for Mädchen, Junge (Girls, Boys - The enemy often uses young girls for espionage services' warns the young and sex-starved soldier on the way out. When I think back to my long and lonely evenings in a barracks abandoned by God... Damn it, WHERE WERE THE RUSSIANS WHEN THEY WERE NEEDED? WHERE?)
N is for Nein (No - An adverb so unpopular with the Bundeswehr that it had to be replaced by 'yes'; Jawohl!)
O is for Orientierungsmarsch (An orienteering march is designed to enhance the soldier's ability to find his way back to his home barracks from a foreign terrain. Most of the time, however, the soldier uses his skills only to 'reconnoiter' the nearest phone booth, have his girlfriend pick him up there, and spend the rest of the day in a pub)
P is for Panzerfaust (Wuuuusch!)
Q is for - (nope)
R is for Rasenmäher (Literally: Lawnmower - The biggest enemy of the grenadier and infantryman - takes away light, cover and food)
S is for Saufen (Boozing - see Free time;GFree time - see Boozing)
T is for Truppenverpflegung (Troop rations are not as bad as their reputation. It is worse!)
U is for Uniform ( It's depressing to realize as a fresh recruit going out in uniform for the first time that these nifty bits makes one far less of an impression on the female sex than all these cheap movies would have us believe)
V is for Vorderer Rand der Verteidigung (What used to be called the **front** is nowadays called the Vorderer Rand der Verteidigung (forward edge of defense). Even if you belong to the military: political correctness sometimes also applies to the Bundeswehr. Well, somehow the five hundred generals and admirals in the BMVg have to justify their existence by creating new, politically correct terms, while the instructors still talk about the "Evil Ivan")
W is for Wecken (Wake-up; If you already feel the every morning beeping of the radio alarm clock as an acoustic bodily injury, then the German Armed Forces (Bundeswehr) offer completely new, individual peak performances in terms of noise level. Waking up by loud shouting, better: roaring ("Kompaniiiiiiie - aaaaauuuuuf-schteeeeeehn!"), mostly amplified by the company's own loudspeaker system. Waking up with the whistle. Wake-up call by hitting, rolling or throwing objects (trash cans, etc.) Wake up by firing maneuver ammunition (an Uzi immediately awakens the anticipation of the upcoming cross-country day)
X is for XANTHIPPE/ DONAUWALZER/ PAPILLE/ TEERTOPF - Stupid code words in radio communication
Y is for Y-Tours (we book - you curse! Derived from the Y on the Bundeswehr vehicle license plates)
Z is for Zapfenstreich (Spontaneously associated with the term 'Zapfenstreich' one could imagine a technique of ordered collective masturbation common in the Bundeswehr (Auf-zwo-drei-vier Ab-zwo-drei-vier - Kompanieeeeee - spritzt ab!). But far from it! This term really has nothing to do with collective shaking off. Rather, Zapfenstreich means that grown men are sent to bed at a fixed time under supervision. Which does not exclude that one or the other still strokes his cone under the covers)
A is for Abrotzen (when a soldier "snorts", this has very unpleasant consequences for his surroundings - because he 'contaminates' the surroundings with lead-containing sputters of 7.62 caliber)
B is for Beruhigungspille (chill pill - Model 39 grenade, throw and the opponent is quiet)
C is for Clubkarte (A club card exists only for the German Air Force; in other branches of the Bundeswehr, this is called a troop ID card)
D is for Dumm-Fick (Absolutely unnecessary activity. For example, cleaning weapons when you have nothing else to do.)
E is for EPa (Einmannpackung: one-man (food) package or also: vomit packaged in portions)
F is for Flammenwerfer
G is for Gummifotze (Gas mask, makes any soldier look like a frog or hardcore fetishist)
H is for Hans (First name of every maintenance soldier)
I is for Infanterist (Infantryman - soldier who has a very close and intimate contact with Mother Nature. For him, the horizon is the tuft of grass in front of his nose; as a rule, his mental horizon does not extend any further. After all, he does not need to think, only to obey)
J is for Jäger (Hunters - Poor pigs who still have to go through the full program even after completing AGA (General basic training). Hunters therefore usually have a very intimate relationship with Mother Nature...)
K is for Klappspaten (also called NATO excavator. Instrument for creating weals on the inner surfaces of both gripping tools. It can be used to dig deep holes (trenches), split the enemy's skull or fry fried eggs on it)
L is for LKU (Life skills training - Two-hour deep sleep training for soldiers. Unfortunately, due to their sleep deficit, most of them miss the extremely interesting explanations of the priest why a mangled, aborted fetus is a grave sin before God, but an enemy soldier torn apart by bullets and shells is part of their mission and thus a work pleasing to God)
M is for Mädchen, Junge (Girls, Boys - The enemy often uses young girls for espionage services' warns the young and sex-starved soldier on the way out. When I think back to my long and lonely evenings in a barracks abandoned by God... Damn it, WHERE WERE THE RUSSIANS WHEN THEY WERE NEEDED? WHERE?)
N is for Nein (No - An adverb so unpopular with the Bundeswehr that it had to be replaced by 'yes'; Jawohl!)
O is for Orientierungsmarsch (An orienteering march is designed to enhance the soldier's ability to find his way back to his home barracks from a foreign terrain. Most of the time, however, the soldier uses his skills only to 'reconnoiter' the nearest phone booth, have his girlfriend pick him up there, and spend the rest of the day in a pub)
P is for Panzerfaust (Wuuuusch!)
Q is for - (nope)
R is for Rasenmäher (Literally: Lawnmower - The biggest enemy of the grenadier and infantryman - takes away light, cover and food)
S is for Saufen (Boozing - see Free time;
T is for Truppenverpflegung (Troop rations are not as bad as their reputation. It is worse!)
U is for Uniform ( It's depressing to realize as a fresh recruit going out in uniform for the first time that these nifty bits makes one far less of an impression on the female sex than all these cheap movies would have us believe)
V is for Vorderer Rand der Verteidigung (What used to be called the **front** is nowadays called the Vorderer Rand der Verteidigung (forward edge of defense). Even if you belong to the military: political correctness sometimes also applies to the Bundeswehr. Well, somehow the five hundred generals and admirals in the BMVg have to justify their existence by creating new, politically correct terms, while the instructors still talk about the "Evil Ivan")
W is for Wecken (Wake-up; If you already feel the every morning beeping of the radio alarm clock as an acoustic bodily injury, then the German Armed Forces (Bundeswehr) offer completely new, individual peak performances in terms of noise level. Waking up by loud shouting, better: roaring ("Kompaniiiiiiie - aaaaauuuuuf-schteeeeeehn!"), mostly amplified by the company's own loudspeaker system. Waking up with the whistle. Wake-up call by hitting, rolling or throwing objects (trash cans, etc.) Wake up by firing maneuver ammunition (an Uzi immediately awakens the anticipation of the upcoming cross-country day)
X is for XANTHIPPE/ DONAUWALZER/ PAPILLE/ TEERTOPF - Stupid code words in radio communication
Y is for Y-Tours (we book - you curse! Derived from the Y on the Bundeswehr vehicle license plates)
Z is for Zapfenstreich (Spontaneously associated with the term 'Zapfenstreich' one could imagine a technique of ordered collective masturbation common in the Bundeswehr (Auf-zwo-drei-vier Ab-zwo-drei-vier - Kompanieeeeee - spritzt ab!). But far from it! This term really has nothing to do with collective shaking off. Rather, Zapfenstreich means that grown men are sent to bed at a fixed time under supervision. Which does not exclude that one or the other still strokes his cone under the covers)