Stupid stuff that comes to mind that we want to post

Turns out my phone is water resistant, so it should be safe to use again. I’m going to wait until noon first.

“I FOILED A ROBBERY BECAUSE I FLASHED MY PENIS IN FRONT OF THE HOMOSEXUAL THIEVES.”

I SHAT IN GOD’S TOILET!

@Dirty Bit  
So you pooped into your lawn.

@Meanlucario
 
No, I meant his actual toilet.
 
Neighboring cats already mark my lawn from time to time, what with the previous resident being an old lady that feeds them.

Her Most Excellent Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II has updated her relationship status to “single”.
 
@Meanlucario  
Hope it’s poop-resistant too.

Also diesel.
 

@Count Adramélekh Sear  
Nope.
 
I like it too

Phillip, are those the Muslims over there?
 
Waiting for MeanLucario to read this

@Myoozik  
…I’m not picking up what you’re putting down.

@Meanlucario  
Soothouse

@Myoozik  
Ah. I don’t remember that one for some reason.

@Meanlucario  
It was one for stock images I think

It had hair! And claws! And teeth!
 
Now now, there’s no such thing as girlfriends.

Trying to de Pokemonafaakte a Pokemon fanwork, which is a mixed blessing because now I don’t know what to do with the psychic type.
 
Normal Tabby cat, fire labrador, water penguin, grass goat, electric rat, ice rabbit, fighting monkey, poison skunk, ground tortoise, flying patriot, psychic pink elephant? Bug tarantula, rock shiba inu, ghost black cat, dragon (guess), Dark Fox, steel Maine coon, fairy unicorn

YES! WE HAVE DEFEATED YOU FOR ALL TIME! YOU WILL NEVER RISE FROM THE ASHES OF YOUR SHAME AND HUMILIATION!
 
…Well, that was fun.

Okay, these strange lights in the night sky were sighted over Manila and nearby places just a few hours ago.
 
here’s an freshly new authentic image i snatched from social media
 

 
Street lights being illuminated by some sort of particles the sky?
 
Some say that it’s God’s angels descending from the heavens?
 
Or some incredibly powerful hologram?

@Count Adramélekh Sear  
I’d go with option 1, but I certainly wouldn’t know for sure!

Police: Man admits he made bomb packed with dog poop to get back at former friend.

You got the brawns, I got the brains, let’s make lots of money!

Never fight a dinosaur. You’ll get jurasskicked.

@Count Adramélekh Sear