what crosses the line is control. just control. nothing else.
they can say things that you don’t like, insult the very core of your being, and it won’t do shit if they can’t control you. people who say “see? nasty comments are hurtful!” make me angry, and very few people make me angry, because they’re trying to piggy back their petty egos on some poor kid’s psychological torture.
fact is I can say things about your mother, about your shit quality as an artist, about what a terrible person you are for liking things I do not like, and your suffering won’t be even comparable to this kid if
- the teachers give you control by listening to you
- I can’t force you to listen to me, taking control away from you
- I can’t make your life a living hell, leaving you powerless and out of control
- I can’t cut you off from friends and family, who help you control your future
- I can’t cut you off from resources leaving you powerless and in my control
bullying starts when you can’t escape the bullying, when you lose control of your life because they just keep coming at you and won’t fucking leave you alone no matter what you do. if there’s nothing you can do to stop it, then you have lost control and are being bullied.. otherwise, you’re just protecting bullies. by pretending to be bullied while being a whiney me generation who could just walk away from the bullying, it makes people think bullying victims are just a bunch of whiners who could easily just walk out of their abusive situation. and that really does hurt bullying victims.
in fact, if you call someone a bully for saying something you don’t like, and you call the administrator to get them banned removing control from their account, controlling where they can post and who can hear them, and you expose their dirty secrets to teach them what happens to mean nasty bullies, secrets they no longer have control of, and when you control what they say to the point that they feel completely unable to say anything negative about you or others… well that makes you the bully, not the guy blowing his top at you.
so please let me insult you. I promise I do it with the greatest of love. <3