Crazy Headcanons

@YetAnotherBrony  
Perhaps Celestia froze her at one point to retain Sunset Shimmer’s youth.

Pinkie Pie actually has a Stand (akin to the ones you see in JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure), and it’s Surprise from G1.

@Poison Trail
 
Except… they didn’t win against the Wonderbolts. They got second. But I suppose your idea still stands even when you take that into consideration.

When Applejack thinks to herself inside her head, she has her posh accent from when she stayed with her uncle and aunt Orange. She’s not sure how she feels about it.

Marble Pie was traumatized by Pinkie’s self-thrown cute-ceañera. She hasn’t left the farm since.

Half of Limestone’s anger stems from her former dream job as a bartender at a salt bar in another town.
 
When the business went under, she returned home, no one more upset than she.

There is a series of movies referred to as “R of the Rock Golem”, due to all of the names starting with R (Rise of the Rock Golem, Return of the Rock Golem, Revenge of the Rock Golem, Rebirth of the Rock Golem, Wrath of the Rock Golem [most fans refuse to acknowledge this one], and Rune of the Rock Golem).
 
Trixie and Maud are big fans.

@SpacePaladin  
I was following you until you mentioned Trixie and Maud in the same sentence.

@PonyPon  
Which only makes Marble even more unhinged.

@Kirb
 
Hey, at least it’s an attempt to give something to that silly but amusing grouping.

Revised my age list with the newest episode:
 
Ωљ◊Kyumerus 15888Y 7M 12D D.O.B.  
ΩπљProto-Nierna 2020Y 11M 3D D.O.C. January 1  
Ω†?◊Yuyuko 1718Y 5M 19D D.O.B.  
Ω◊†Lucien Lachane 1718Y 1M 11D D.O.B.  
•†Celestia 1717Y 8M 30D D.O.B. March 5  
Ω◊Yukari 1717Y 5M 24D D.O.B.  
Discord 1717Y 0M 0D D.O.B. December 4*  
•Luna 1713Y 10M 7D D.O.B.  
†Starswirl 1519Y 9M 17D D.O.B.  
Ω†‡Ф◊Hakurei Dovahkiin 1510Y 3M 18D D.O.B.  
†‡Clover the Clever 1500Y 0M 0D D.O.B. December 4*  
Ω†‡◊Hero of Time 1493Y 8M 11D D.O.B.  
πEquestria 1480Y 7M 15D D.O.F. April 19 (Equestria Founders Day, founded 19/4/540, during the events of Skyrim)  
ΩπљModern Nierna 1337Y 0M 29D D.O.A. (Adopted in 683)  
†ДPrimrose 1040Y 10M 30D D.O.B.  
†Sombra 1036Y 7M 11D D.O.B.  
Ω†◊Selan 1023Y 6M 2D D.O.B. ? (Is now the guardian spirit)  
†?ДSnowdrop (original) 1018Y 9M 9D D.O.B. February 23  
Nightmare Moon (Luna) 1003Y 5M 17D D.O.T.  
πCanterlot 893Y 6M 13D D.O.F.  
Ω◊Kyubey 387Y 10M 28D D.O.B.  
†Granny Smith 185Y 9M 23D D.O.B.  
πPonyville 159Y 8M 11D D.O.F.  
€Tank 123Y 4M 5D D.O.B.  
ΩπљL.U.N.A. 100Y 2M 6D D.O.C. September 28  
†‡ᵐФSurprise/Granny Pie 78Y 6M 14D D.O.B.  
Mr. Waddle 70Y 9M 16D D.O.B.  
™Randolph 57Y 5M 17D D.O.B.  
◊ᵐLickety Split (G1) 57Y 2M 22D D.O.B.  
Ф‡Derpy’s Mother 56Y 11M 12D D.O.B.  
Ф‡Derpy’s Father 55Y 8M 17D D.O.B.  
†‡ФApplejack’s Father 52Y 11M 17D D.O.B.  
‡Twilight Velvet 50Y 8M 2D D.O.B.  
†‡ФApplejack’s Mother 50Y 6M 14D D.O.B.  
‡Night Light 48Y 2M 6D D.O.B. September 28 (Died on 48th birthday during war)  
Harshwhinny 45Y 6M 29D D.O.B.  
Pearl 40Y 8M 17D D.O.B.  
™ФSebastian 40Y 4M 18D D.O.B.  
ДSandy Hooves 40Y 3M 21D D.O.B.  
Magnum 40Y 1M 12 D.O.B.  
Hoity Toity 39Y 5M 11D D.O.B.  
Suri Polomare 36Y 7M 21D D.O.B.  
Д?‡Clearwater 35Y 6M 18D D.O.B.  
ΩπљL.U.N.A. Standard 34Y 11M 3D D.O.C. January 1 1986  
Fleur de Lis 34Y 7M 25D D.O.B.  
†Filthy Rich 34Y 0M 30D D.O.B.  
Chief Thunderhooves 33Y 11M 18D D.O.B.  
Mayor Mare 33Y 7M 23D D.O.B. April 11  
Spoiled Rich 32Y 8M 27D D.O.B.  
◊Photo Finish 31Y 2M 5D D.O.B.  
Flim 30Y 8M 14D D.O.B.  
Flam 30Y 8M 14D D.O.B.  
†₤Sombra (Good) 30Y 7M 11D D.O.B.  
†ФDT’s Mother 29Y 11M 27D D.O.B.  
љFountain Pen 29Y 10M 2D D.O.B.  
™ФAmanita 29Y 9M 10D D.O.B.  
ᵐ?‡Lucky 28Y 8M 22D D.O.B.  
Trouble Shoes 28Y 5M 14D D.O.B.  
Beauty Brass 28Y 0M 12D D.O.B.  
ДWarden 27Y 7M 11D D.O.B.  
љCyan Skye 27Y 5M 1D D.O.B. (Diamond Tornado’s mother)  
$Whiplash 27Y 2M 14D D.O.B.  
Nurse Redheart 26Y 11M 25D D.O.B.  
Berry Punch 26Y 11M 25D D.O.B.  
$Lightning Streak 26Y 9M 11D D.O.B.  
Cadance 26Y 7M 15D D.O.B. April 19  
Zecora 26Y 5M 1D D.O.B. July 3  
$Fast Clip 26Y 4M 18D D.O.B.  
Braeburn 26Y 2M 18D D.O.B.  
$Tight Ship 26Y 2M 7D D.O.B.  
Noteworthy 26Y 1M 27D D.O.B.  
℠ФPeters 26Y 0M 17D D.O.B.  
Dizzy Twister 25Y 11M 31D D.O.B.  
Daring Do 25Y 11M 5D D.O.B.  
$Silver Lining 25Y 9M 23D D.O.B.  
Pokey Pierce 25Y 8M 17D D.O.B.  
Big Macintosh 25Y 5M 28D D.O.B. June 6  
♩Derpy 25Y 5M 28D D.O.B. June 6  
Caramel 25Y 5M 28D D.O.B. June 6  
Limestone Pie 25Y 4M 0D D.O.B.  
♩Double Diamond 25Y 2M 19D D.O.B.  
Shining Armor 25Y 0M 15D D.O.B.  
$Spitfire 25Y 0M 0D D.O.B. December 4  
Bulk Biceps 24Y 11M 27D D.O.B.  
ᵐФG3 Rainbow Dash 24Y 11M 19D D.O.B.  
Sassaflash 24Y 11M 19D D.O.B.  
$Soarin’ 24Y 11M 15D D.O.B.  
Medley 24Y 10M 17D D.O.B.  
Shoeshine 24Y 10M 0D D.O.B.  
Sapphire Shores 24Y 9M 11D D.O.B.  
ᵐФ◊G3 Pinkie Pie 24Y 8M 24D D.O.B.  
℠ФSunny 24Y 7M 1D D.O.B.  
♩Cloud Kicker 24Y 6M 18D D.O.B.  
Orange Swirl 24Y 6M 12D D.O.B.  
Twinkleshine 24Y 6M 1D D.O.B.  
ДMilky Way 24Y 5M 5D D.O.B.  
ᵐ$Ф◊Starsong 24Y 3M 11D D.O.B.  
Ponet 24Y 3M 0D D.O.B.  
‡$Fire Streak 24Y 2M 24D D.O.B.  
$High Winds 24Y 0M 14D D.O.B.  
Cheerilee 23Y 11M 0D D.O.B.  
♩Cherry Blossom 23Y 11M 0D D.O.B.  
ᵐФToola Roola 23Y 8M 15D D.O.B.  
Screw Loose 23Y 7M 30D D.O.B.  
$Blaze 23Y 7M 23D D.O.B. April 11  
Screwball 23Y 5M 27D D.O.B.  
Spot (Diamond Dog) 23Y 3M 28D D.O.B.  
Octavia 23Y 3M 9D D.O.B.  
♩Cloudchaser 23Y 2M 17D D.O.B.  
♩Flitter 23Y 2M 17D D.O.B.  
Daisy 23Y 1M 27D D.O.B.  
$Wave Chill 23Y 1M 16D D.O.B.  
Lily 23Y 0M 5D D.O.B.  
♩Silver Spanner 22Y 11M 20D D.O.B.  
♩Roseluck 22Y 11M 20D D.O.B.  
♩Maud Pie 22Y 11M 12D D.O.B.  
♩Silverspeed 22Y 11M 2D D.O.B.  
Aloe 22Y 10M 28D D.O.B.  
Lotus 22Y 10M 28D D.O.B.  
$љIcy Streak 22Y 5M 17D D.O.B.  
♩Sunflower 22Y 3M 27D D.O.B.  
♩Vinyl 22Y 0M 8D D.O.B. November 26  
Tree Hugger 21Y 11M 27D D.O.B.  
Sea Swirl 21Y 10M 17D D.O.B.  
♩Allie Way 21Y 9M 14D D.O.B.  
♩Carrot Top 21Y 8M 5D D.O.B.  
♩Mjolna 21Y 8M 3D D.O.B. April 1  
♩BonBon 21Y 6M 11D D.O.B.  
$◊Lightning Dust 21Y 5M 0D D.O.B.  
$Fleetfoot 21Y 5M 0D D.O.B.  
♩Thunderlane 21Y 4M 9D D.O.B.  
$Misty Fly 21Y 3M 17D D.O.B.  
Blossomforth 21Y 3M 5D D.O.B.  
◊Chrysalis 21Y 3M 0D D.O.B.  
Fido 21Y 1M 29D D.O.B.  
ДFluffle Puff 21Y 0M 5D D.O.B.  
ᵐФ◊Scootaloo (Sister) 20Y 10M 28D D.O.B. January 7  
?•♩Fluttershy 20Y 10M 15D D.O.B. April 19  
?Д?Midnight Strike 20Y 9M 4D D.O.B. February 29  
?•♩Rarity 20Y 9M 4D D.O.B. February 29  
♩Night Glider 20Y 8M 21D D.O.B.  
$Lilac Sky 20Y 7M 15D D.O.B. April 19  
♩Lyra 20Y 6M 16D D.O.B.  
?•♩Applejack 20Y 5M 24D D.O.B.  
Score 20Y 5M 20D D.O.B.  
Raindrops 20Y 4M 14D D.O.B.  
♩Minuette 20Y 3M 17D D.O.B.  
Rover 20Y 1M 13D D.O.B.  
‡?Meadow Song 20Y 1M 3D D.O.B. (MIA, presumed dead)  
◊♩Sunset Shimmer 20Y 0M 21D D.O.B.  
♩Trixie 19Y 11M 25D D.O.B.  
љ♩Cross Country 19Y 11M 3D D.O.B.  
Hoops 19Y 10M 15D D.O.B.  
♩Moondancer 19Y 9M 22D D.O.B.  
$Surprise III 19Y 8M 13D D.O.B. (Wonderbolt)  
?•♩Pinkie Pie 19Y 7M 1D D.O.B. May 3 (Canon)  
$Spring Step 19Y 6M 17D D.O.B.  
Gilda 19Y 5M 27D D.O.B.  
♩Air Way 19Y 3M 18D D.O.B.  
?•♩$Rainbow Dash 19Y 3M 18D D.O.B.  
Dumb-Bell 19Y 3M 13D D.O.B.  
Flash Sentry 19Y 3M 8D D.O.B.  
•♩Twilight Sparkle 19Y 0M 0D D.O.B. December 4  
♩Amethyst Star 18Y 6M 25D D.O.B.  
Ω◊♩Reimu 17Y 6M 15D D.O.B. May 20  
◊?Garble 16Y 5M 22D D.O.B.  
Namby-Pamby 15Y 7M 19D D.O.B.  
Little Strongheart 14Y 0M 12D D.O.B.  
Licketysplit 13Y 11M 9D D.O.B.  
♩Snails 13Y 9M 11D D.O.B.  
♩Snips 13Y 8M 16D D.O.B.  
љ◊♩Great Tempest 13Y 8M 0D D.O.B.  
Square Root 13Y 4M 9D D.O.B.  
♩Archer 12Y 11M 31D D.O.B. December 5  
ДTopsy & Turvy 12Y 9M 11D D.O.B.  
ДDiamond Spoon 12Y 8M 28D D.O.B.  
Bramble 12Y 8M 0D D.O.B.  
Tootsie Flute 12Y 7M 19D D.O.B. April 15  
♩Ginger Snap 12Y 6M 3D D.O.B. June 1  
Nathan 12Y 5M 26D D.O.B.  
Shady Daze 12Y 4M 28D D.O.B.  
Lemon Daze 12Y 4M 28D D.O.B.  
‡Green Daze 12Y 4M 28D D.O.B.  
Super Funk 12Y 4M 11D D.O.B.  
Chirpy 12Y 4M 2D D.O.B.  
Gallop J. Fry 12Y 3M 30D D.O.B.  
Alula Error 12Y 3M 16D D.O.B. August 19  
ДSilver Tiara 12Y 1M 17D D.O.B.  
♩Rumble 12Y 0M 4D D.O.B. November 30  
♩Cotton Cloudy 11Y 11M 10D D.O.B. December 25  
First Base 11Y 10M 9D D.O.B.  
Д?Rain Catcher 11Y 9M 17D D.O.B.  
Bloo 11Y 9M 9D D.O.B. February 23  
љ†◊Hammertime 11Y 8M 25D D.O.B.  
♩Twist 11Y 8M 13D D.O.B. March 22  
љ◊Sugar-Rainbowdash 11Y 8M 5D D.O.B.  
Boysenberry 11Y 8M 1D D.O.B. April 3  
♩Babs Seed 11Y 7M 23D D.O.B. April 11  
љ◊Applestorm 11Y 7M 1D D.O.B.  
?Ω◊♩Lisa Simpson 11Y 6M 26D D.O.B. May 9 (N.B. Ages are relative, hence Lisa being aged up)  
љ◊Ramblingdusk 11Y 5M 19D D.O.B.  
Noi 11Y 5M 0D D.O.B. July 4  
Sweet Wheat 11Y 5M 0D D.O.B. July 4  
љ◊Iron Anvil 11Y 4M 18D D.O.B.  
љ♩Silver Storm 11Y 3M 27D D.O.B. August 8?  
Piña Colada 11Y 3M 6D D.O.B. August 29  
♩Silver Spoon 11Y 2M 27D D.O.B. September 7  
Peach Fuzz 11Y 2M 23D D.O.B. September 11  
•♩Spike (Egg found) 11Y 2M 5D D.O.D. September 29  
πљΩ‡◊Meteor Bomb 11Y 1M 26D D.O.C. (Deployed/Destroyed during war)  
Truffle 11Y 0M 14D D.O.B. November 20  
♩Opal Bloom 11Y 0M 0D D.O.B. December 4 (After re-sync)  
•♩Apple Bloom 11Y 0M 0D D.O.B. December 4 (Born on Assassin’s Day)  
љ◊Loose Stirrup 10Y 11M 28D D.O.B.  
љ◊Sparkleblade 10Y 11M 17D D.O.B.  
Strike 10Y 11M 12D D.O.B.  
љ♩Diamond Tornado 10Y 11M 3D D.O.B. January 1  
•♩Scootaloo (CMC) 10Y 10M 28D D.O.B. January 7  
Titania 10Y 10M 10D D.O.B.  
Featherweight 10Y 9M 9D D.O.B. February 23  
•♩Spike (Hatched) 10Y 8M 28D D.O.H. March 7  
♩Diamond Tiara 10Y 8M 13D D.O.B. March 22  
•♩Sweetie Belle 10Y 8M 13D D.O.B. March 22  
Aquamarine 10Y 7M 23D D.O.B. April 11  
Rainy Feather 10Y 7M 16D D.O.B.  
Little Red 10Y 7M 2D D.O.B. May 2  
љ◊♩Diamond Illusion 10Y 6M 16D D.O.B.  
♩Dinky 10Y 6M 7D D.O.B. May 28  
♩Ruby Pinch 10Y 5M 29D D.O.B. June 6?  
ФAura 10Y 4M 29D D.O.B.  
љ♩Cardio 10Y 4M 17D D.O.B.  
ДAurora 10Y 3M 28D D.O.B.  
♩Sun Glimmer 10Y 3M 12D D.O.B.  
љ◊♩Silver Void 10Y 2M 17D D.O.B.  
Royal Blue 10Y 2M 11D D.O.B.  
љ♩Plot Coupon 10Y 1M 25D D.O.B.  
ДOrion 10Y 0M 0D D.O.B. December 4  
Lily Dache 9Y 10M 11D D.O.B.  
♩?“Button Mash” 9Y 9M 9D D.O.B.  
љ♩Wipeout 9Y 6M 16D D.O.B.  
Brown Sugar 9Y 4M 11D D.O.B.  
Ω◊♩Cirno 9Y 2M 25D D.O.B. September 9  
љ♩Tabula Rasa 9Y 1M 12D D.O.B.  
Pipsqueak 9Y 0M 15D D.O.B. November 19  
љ◊♩Electric Gale 8Y 11M 27D D.O.B.  
Cotton Candy 8Y 9M 13D D.O.B.  
ФLily “Giggle” 8Y 7M 11D D.O.B.  
€Angel 8Y 6M 4D D.O.B.  
Dipsy 8Y 2M 25D D.O.B.  
Dizzy 8Y 2M 25D D.O.B.  
€‡Winona 7Y 11M 13D D.O.B.  
♩Zippoorwhill 7Y 7M 7D D.O.B. April 27  
ФPluto 7Y 5M 28D D.O.B. (Alula’s Brother)  
Loop de Loop 7Y 3M 11D D.O.B.  
€Opalescence 5Y 8M 12D D.O.B.  
Д₤†Golden Pockets 3Y 3M 3D D.O.B.  
Pound Cake 1Y 1M 1D D.O.B. November 3  
Pumpkin Cake 1Y 1M 1D D.O.B. November 3  
љ♩Applecore 0Y 0M 26D D.O.B. November 8  
љ♩Applesparkle 0Y 0M 26D D.O.B. November 8  
љ♩Applewing 0Y 0M 26D D.O.B. November 8  
љMassive Apple -12Y -5M -2D D.O.B. May 6?  
◊Doctor Whooves ?Y ?M ?D D.O.B. ???  
€Owlowiscious ?Y ?M ?D D.O.B. ???  
€Gummy ?Y ?M ?D D.O.B. ???  
Д€Dazzle ?Y ?M ?D D.O.B. ???  
Д€Imperius ?Y ?M ?D D.O.B. ???  
Д€Scarf ?Y ?M ?D D.O.B. ???  
Д€Albacore ?Y ?M ?D D.O.B. ???  
Д€Robot ?Y ?M ?D D.O.B. ???  
ДLightning Blitz -?Y ?M ?D D.O.B. ???  
ᵐ◊Smooze ?Y ?M ?D D.O.B. ???  
ᵐ◊Hydia ?Y ?M ?D D.O.B. ???  
Д◊Discord Whooves ?Y ?M ?D D.O.B. ???  
Д◊Nyx ?Y ?M ?D D.O.B. ???
 
Key:  
™Servant of Diamond Tiara  
℠Servant of Silver Spoon  
ДOC  
ФTechnically not my OC but may as well be in this universe  
љMy OC  
ᵐPrevious Gen Character  
πNot a living creature  
ΩNon-MLP  
$Wonderbolt  
•Main Character  
€Pet  
†Deceased as of Dec 4 this year (listed age would be age if still alive)  
‡Casualty of 13-Hour War  
†‡Casualty of previous war  
₤Does not exist in this universe  
◊Does not currently reside in Equestria  
♩Bears Mark of Destiny  
?To be reviewed if first symbol. Otherwise previous symbol is abiguous
 
 
Undecided/Unknown:  
Fancy Pants  
♩Party Favor  
♩Sugar Belle  
Sunshower  
Clear Skies  
Open Skies  
Lemon Hearts  
Sassy Saddles  
Whoa Nelly  
Marble Pie  
♩Lily Longsocks  
♩Extensions Filly  
♩Toothy Colt  
♩?Starlight Glimmer  
ДDeepthroat Cockslut  
ДPear Bud  
ДScamps  
ДMellow Brass
 

 
EDIT: Derpy is Dinky’s Ñmxtþl!m (A non-biological mother in an extended family, difficult to explain as it’s a cultural quirk).

@Wiimeiser
 
Wow. You’ve got quite the crossover there! MLP, Touhou, Elder Scrolls: Skyrim, and what looks to be bits of The Legend of Zelda, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, even a character from The Simpsons!
 
Is there an overarching story you’re working on that incorporates these many varied characters?

@YetAnotherBrony  
Yes, there is.

Sunny Flare and Principal Cinch are related.

Nopony actually put Limestone Pie in charge of the rock farm. She just kept getting bossier and bossier until she’d basically taken over.
 
Rarity and Sweetie Belle have had a Hearth’s Warming tradition for a few years of Rarity giving Sweetie Belle an unfinished gift so they can finish it together.
 
Pinkie’s parents didn’t start talking like that until after Princess Luna returned.
 
While she specializes in rocks, Maud is knowledgeable on other geological topics, such as fault lines or volcanoes, that may become relevant during the study of rocks. She even has a passable knowledge of fossils, though more centered on excavation and preservation than on how to identify what they came from.
 
Everypony who sells candy in Ponyville knows about the colt with the big teeth, and they’re all unnerved by his habit of crunching through jawbreakers without sucking on them first.
 
Gummy isn’t a baby, he’s just from a species of really small alligators. It’s better this way, because he won’t get too big for Pinkie to keep. His lack of teeth is due to a genetic defect; normal gators never stop growing teeth, which is one reason Fluttershy and every other expert who’s looked at him think her probably never had any to start with, in which case it’s lucky he found somepony to take care of him sooner rather than later.
 
Gummy’s personality reminds Pinkie of Maud a little bit, which helped her to get through some homesickness early on.

Cheerilee is a chain smoker

@ice1517
 
Her sister Berry Punch is an alcoholic.
 
Both think the other sister has the worse habit/addiction.

@YetAnotherBrony  
Cheery Blossom is also addicted to pain meds after several wresters she went up against started shooting (actually hurting your opponent and going off script0 for no reason.
 
However, all 3 of them know they have problems, and they all support eachother in trying to get rid of them

@ice1517
 
And Cheerilee knows the dangers of second-hand smoke, especially to foals, so she always makes sure that she never smokes while teaching.

The apple family’s size isn’t due to herding behavior as is the rumor, but rather the quiet promotion of a very healthy and active sex life.
 
Granny tends to disguise such talk by saying Aj ‘doesn’t eat enough carrots’.

@Jarkes  
Isnt that common sense to never smoke in a job that involves children?

Of the twins, Marble Pie was the “runt” so to speak, being a bit sickly and weak as a filly. This contributed to her social anxiety, forcing her to stay in the farm area and hardly, if ever leave it. The end result is a mare who’s shy even around her own family, and deathly afraid of any strangers.

Rarity’s uncle is the pony version of Stone Cold Steve Austin

Holy geez, the server upgrade unsubscribed me from all my favorite threads! D:
 
Anyway, new headcanon: Canterlot Castle has a small gym, a swimming pool, saunas and locker room facilities for its guards, though sometimes the princesses themselves share them.