Crazy Headcanons

@Crystal Neighybánya  

 
Yeah, sure. If you know, Jesus was a horse.
 

@SeraphimDawn  
No one wants to see good people suffer, Seraph. Even if only a little bit.

@Crystal Neighybánya  
I never said he wasn’t oblivious.

Blueblood is the Pony Antichrist.

@atalarikt  
Santa Christ, Santa Christ  
We all love Santa Christ  
He is Santa and Jesus  
Goddamn, he’s Santa Christ!
 
He atoned for all our sins  
but he also likes pancakes  
He saved puppies from a fire  
and he also likes pancakes.
 
He played bass for Aerosmith  
Reads to sick orphans too  
He goes surfing in space  
and makes really good fondue.
 
He shoots lasers from his eyes  
and heal curtains for free  
He fights monsters for fun  
and hangs out with Mr. T.
 
Santa Christ, Santa Christ,  
Santa Christ, Santa Christ  
You are the best man  
We love you, Santa Christ!
 
@Crystal Neighybánya  
Lol, coincidences!

@Scrounge  
What are the broadcast regulations for divorce?
 
In the N-Verse, DT’s biological mother was just as strict for the most part, though she’d at least console her daughter in a crisis. And we don’t speak of Suri Polomare.

@Background Pony #F782  

 
FIFY.

@Kirb  
Something tells me the movie is gonna be plain absolute awfulness.

@HJSDGCE
 
She dies after sacrificing herself by casting her final, greatest spell, a true masterwork of magic, one that will be immortalised in story and song for centuries to come…Götterdämmerung, Twilight of the Gods.
 
Funny how a spell that was named after the end of the world ended up saving it…but fate always did enjoy its little ironies…

@atalarikt  
What movie?

@Crystal Neighybánya  
Santa Christ.

@atalarikt  
Santa Christ isn’t a movie - he’s a character who sometimes appears in Doug’s reviews.

@Crystal Neighybánya  
Oh, I thought it was a movie.
 
Sorry.

@atalarikt  
No worries.

Rainbow Dash has a deep hatred towards tomatoes.

@Crystal Neighybánya  
Also, as his fan, I’m rather new to Nostalgia Critic. Just saying.

@atalarikt  
As a fellow NC fan, take it from me: his reviews from 2008-2012 are better than his reviews from 2013-2015.

@Kirb  
Okay, got it.
 
Though I don’t seem to have problems with his newer reviews, his older reviews feel like they’ve got some charm with them. I’ve watched some of his older and newer reviews, BTW.

@Kirb  
I’ve seen some his more recent reviews with the skits cut out of them and they’re just as funny as ever. Also, I actually like some of the stuff he’s done with Malcom and Tamara.

@atalarikt  
@Crystal Neighybánya  
I’m specifically referring to the ones where he uses absolutely no clips from the movie he’s reviewing, and instead tries to recreate the scenes himself.
 
Pardon me for saying so, but isn’t reviewing a movie while not using any of the clips from it kind of like Todd in the Shadows reviewing a pop song while not-so-subtly recreating the pop song himself? We’re given no reason to believe that his criticisms are valid because we aren’t seeing the actual clips as proof.

@Kirb  
Ah, those. Well, he had to do that because the movies he was reviewing weren’t out on DVD or Blu-ray yet.

ASMR (the pleasurable tingling sensation you sometimes get in the back of your head and neck) is a proven therapy that helps ponies use their magic more effectively.
 
It works best on unicorns, due to the majority of their magic being concentrated in the head, neck, and spine, but pegasi and earth ponies can also benefit. Some theorize that the tingles are the neurothaumic connections “un-kinking”, letting magic flow through more freely, but studies are still ongoing.
 
(ASMR actually exists! Look up some videos on YouTube so you too can get your head, neck, and brain massaged from the inside!)

@Crystal Neighybánya  
Except he didn’t have to do them. He could have chosen to wait until they were on DVD like he usually does, but no, he just had to get his opinion out about how much he hated Jurassic World, even though he had already done that multiple times!  
And that’s not excluding his Hocus Pocus review. He had no reason not to use clips from that, it was a movie from the 90’s!
 
sigh Apologies. I simply prefer my reviews when it’s just a guy sitting in a chair making jokes. Hence why I prefer the Cinema Snob. (That and he didn’t unfairly bash The Matrix.)

@Kirb  
Well, he already did a review of Hocus Pocus for Disneycember - it’d be redundant for him to do another one.

@Crystal Neighybánya  
Or he could have simply chosen to review something else. Not like there’s a shortage of Halloween movies.
 
Personally, I’d love to see him take down Monster Mash (2000). Then again, it might be too similar to TheHappySpaceman’s review of it.
 
But we’re getting off topic, aren’t we?