Crazy Headcanons

Prince Blueblood isn’t actually a bad guy. He was just rude to Rarity because she wouldn’t take a hint. He’s one of the royal family and he’s got mares with dollar signs (bit signs?) in their eyes throwing themselves at him constantly, and Rarity was a lot less subtle than most.

@Background Pony #3CDB  
Both.

The Royal Guard is mainly of a bunch of lovable nerds. Although they do basic training every day to keep themselves physically fit and in shape, as soon as the guard duty is finished, many of them prefer to play O&O in the barracks, sit in front of video slot machines and sing karaoke. Others, on the other hand, love to cook and bake and try out new recipes. Meanwhile, they’re all watching Chef Ramsay’s show. And really everyone is looking forward to the weekly visit of the swimming pool at the weekend. There is also a luxury spa area specially for the Guard. ;-)

Stallions are required to perform a two year service in the Equestrian Royal Guard

@Background Pony #3CDB  
Then why impersonate Cadance rather than replacing Shining Armour directly?

@Latecomer  
Less resistance to being drained and easier to fool for a prolonged period?

@Brass Beau  
Maybe. But it’s pretty obviously a G-rated succubus story.

@DarkObsidian  

 
The Royal Guard do actually have fighting capabilities, but their purpose is largely ceremonial because the two ponies they protect are basically demigoddesses anyway.
 
They also served as Celestia’s personal harem during her “military fetish” phase.

There’s a commonly held belief that Celestia can name every guard in her court while Luna can’t name any of the Night Guard. The reality is that Luna speaks with her guard and has met the families of many of them. Celestia only holds such a relationship with high ranking officers.

@Random-Rambling  
The Royal Guard is a mix of a ceremonial guard, police force and defensive reserve who handle internal issues. National defense falls to a larger and less glamourous “Border Guard”.

Smartphones in Equestria Girls universe are modified Android.

@Random-Rambling
 

 
Well, I didn’t mean to imply that they don’t have any fighting skills. But I can’t imagine these ponies behaving privately like Full Metal Jacket Marines. I am thinking of the character of Shining Armor and Spearhead, both of which have shown that they also have a huge soft side as well. Which I totally agree with as a former soldier.
 

 
That’s right. Similar to the Wachbataillon of the Bundeswehr, the main task of the Royal Guard is not direct combat. And I agree with those fans who say that the military of Equestria is not the Royal Guard, but the princesses themselves. Personally, I don’t really see them as demigoddesses. Not anymore. As much as I appreciate the fanmade artworks and music in this respect, so much I have said goodbye to this idea at the latest with season five. But I admit, it looked like this for a while.
 

 
Well, usually I do not comment on the fetish ideas of others on this site. How did Celestia say it so well? There is no wrong way to fantasize. ;-)

Alicorns, like Tolkien’s Half-Elves, can choose whether they are immortal or mortal. If they choose immortality, they will never die of natural causes, but they can still be killed. Of the characters we see in the show, Celestia, Luna, Twilight and Flurry all chose immortality, whereas Candance chose mortality. There have been ponies who became alicorns throughout history (mares and stallions), but almost all chose mortality.

@Latecomer  
Queen Chrysalis isn’t the sharpest crayon in the box. She has a love of melodramatic, excessively complex plans.

@Iathhel  
Do alicorns retire to Aman?

The reason Discord’s previous reigns of (slapstick) terror in Equestria have been nonlethal, with ponies just getting inconvenienced and annoyed rather than suffering any harm, is because Discord and Celestia are both Chaos deities. Celestia’s chaos is much gentler and subtler than Discord’s, which is why she does things like play small pranks on the servants, prod Twilight Sparkle into temporary insanity, leave the Cutie Mark Crusaders unsupervised in the Royal Gardens in close proximity to Discord’s statue, and so on.
 
This is a millenia-long game of Chaos God Calvinball they’re playing, and currently the score is 3 to Henhouse, minus five, plus the square root of negative one. When Luna, Cadence, and Twilight Sparkle figure out what’s going on, it’s going to be epic.

@Background Pony #3CDB  
Celestia can use the elements of harmony.  
Harmony is order.  
Harmony is also balance.  
Celestia is semi-chaotic.  
What else is semi-chaotic?  
A pseudo random number generator.  
What’s a true random number generator?  
A die roll.  
Where do you see pseudo random number generators and die rolls?  
Role Playing Games.  
Equestria is a giant LARP with two GMs.

Celestia and Luna are literal Goddesses, and exist in more than three spatial dimensions, and can travel not only forward and back in time but across alternate timelines at will.
 
Celestia works part-time at the Goddess Relief Agency in her spare time–of which she has as much as she wants, due to her time-travel abilities. She and Belldandy are not, as some suggest, the same person, but they are co-workers and good friends.
 
And as they are both also administrators of a computer system called Yggdrasil that runs all possible realities as simulations, they, and their colleagues are responsible for the continued existence all history and causality in the universe. As such, Celestia has in the past had occasion to work with the High Council of Gallifrey, the Time-Space Administrative Bureau, and the Empire of Jurai, among others.
 
Celestia and Luna also go out drinking with Washuu Hakubi on occasion, and have lived to regret some of the bets they’ve made with her.

The Pony of Shadows was the first attempt by the Umbrum to free themselves from their prison. Sombra was their second. The Sombra from the season nine premiere was a merger of the Pony of Shadows and the Umbrum essence that was dispelled after The Seige of the Crystal Empire.

There’s just something “overworldly” about the “nightmare” or “dark magic” that corrupted NMM, Stygian, and Sombra.

@Brass Beau  
Yes, but Celestia and Luna made sure to experience everything Equestria had offer before sailing. Oh, and Rarity crafted these things called the Silmareils shortly after Luster Dawn moved to Ponyville, but surely three little gems couldn’t cause any trouble, could they?

@Iathhel  
And don’t forget that story about thirteen diamond dogs and a deer went to a mountain.

@Iathhel  
Ponies would love Tolkien. I can imagine Rarity bursting into tears at the story of Hurin Steadfast and his curse.
 
Celestia would nod and change the subject because she actually used to date Gandalf. She’s actually Varda. Not even Luna knows this, though. Discord is actually Morgoth.

@Background Pony #3CDB  
Unicorns would love Tolkien. Pegasi prefer George R. R. Martin. Earth ponies prefer Andrzej Sapkowski.

The ordinary Little Ponies are flesh and blood. Each alicorn is an enormous blob of nanomachines, making them effectively indestructible.
 
>Chrysalis has attacked Canterlot again  
>appeared to defeat Princess Celestia, to everyone’s horror, leaving nothing but smoking hoofprints on the castle floor  
>suddenly the dust motes reassemble and in seconds Celestia is standing there smirking triumphantly as if nothing had happened  
>Chrysalis: “How is this possible?”  
>Celestia: “NANOMACHINES, SON”