Mac's Secret [NSFW, Solo Male, Crossdressing]

gasmaskangel
Magical Inkwell - Wrote MLP fanfiction consisting of at least around 1.5k words, and has a verified link to the platform of their choice
Artist -
Since the Beginning  -

Big Macintosh awoke to the sound of a rooster crowing, as he always did.
 
He rose in a daze, stripping off the sweat pants he wore to bed in the winter months, his huge, muscular frame barely fitting in the room that had been his since he was a colt.
 
Occasionally his sister would suggest he move to a room that was more accommodating to a stallion of his impressive size, but he always turned it down. Their was too much memory in this room, too much that was sweet for him to give it up simply because of a little discomfort.
 
He stood nude in the morning light for a little while, blinking as his mind sorted out what needed to happen. As sleep faded and his mind became clear a smile spread across his face.
 
There was no work today.
 
He and Applejack had worked hard the past few weeks to ensure that during Hearth’s Warming there would be no back breaking labor to distract them from family and friends. He recalled that Applejack had gone to a party with her friends the night before, and likely would have slept over at Twilight’s.
 
His smile spread as he hoped Applejack had finally gotten up the courage to tell Ms. Rarity how she really felt. Big Mac knew his sister pined for the dressmaker in the dark hours of the night, and even if Ms. Rarity didn’t return that longing, then at least AJ would be able to move on.
 
Big Mac knew a thing or two about wanting what you couldn’t have, and he doubted that the dressmaker would be cruel if his little sister confessed her love. Ms. Rarity was a very understanding mare.
 
For a moment Mac considered going back to his nice warm bed, but decided against it. Nopony in the Apple family liked to waste their time, and Big Macintosh was not about waste a second of his day off.
 
That didn’t mean he couldn’t savor things though.
 
Today there would be no real labor, and that meant he could indulge in one of his greatest pleasures, a secret thing which nopony but he, Cheerilee and Rarity knew of. He again thanked Celestia for kind, understanding mares.
 
It was all hidden away in his dresser.
 
Of course it wouldn’t due to let things slip, the big stallion stepped over to his door and locked it, even testing the knob to make sure there was no give to it.
 
Applejack or even worse Apple Bloom might open the door for any number of reasons and even though he suspected that AJ might understand after awhile, he did not relish the idea of having to explain his secret.
 
Besides, the very secrecy of it all was part of the appeal.
 
He stepped over to his dresser and considered himself in the mirror hung above it.
 
Big Macintosh was well aware that he was considered quite handsome in Ponyville. His jawline was chiseled and rugged, his big green eyes soft and kind, the freckles on his red coat a perfect imperfection that lent a certain down home flavor to his looks and made him seem approachable where otherwise he might have been intimidating.
 
Even his short, messy mane left mares acting sheepish and tongue tied it seemed, and that was only his head.
 
His body was that of a god. Firm, sculpted muscle held in quiet reserve. His strength and height were enough to comfort any pony when they felt scared or put upon by the world, and as for his other assets? Well Big Macintosh more than lived up to his name.
 
It was all quite a shame then that he wished for a different body. He would give what ponies needed from him, but in moments like this when there was no call for his steady strength he wished that rather than broad, his shoulders were narrow. He wished that rather than being so tall he could nearly look the Princess’s in the eye that he was a slight slip of stallion who looked up even to short mare’s like Rainbow Dash.
 
He dreamed that his muscles while still well defined were slim and sleek, that his face was softer, more feminine.
 
In his heart Big Mac knew he’d never be the slim, girlish man he longed to be, but thanks to the kindness of two mares he could at least come just that tiny bit close.
 
The top drawer of his dresser held underpants, thick woolen sock for when the ground was too cold for a pony’s bare hooves, under shirts, and beneath all of that his secret.
 
He removed the plain, white under things and stacked them neatly on the dresser, then extracted the first part of his secret.
 
He held the silky, gossamer fabric up to the light for inspection and smiled. How nervous he’d been when Cherilee had smiled at him and taken him by the hand into Ms. Rarity’s boutique.
 
That had been a few weeks after the Hearts and Hooves day when Apple Bloom and her friends had tried to set him up with their teacher. He supposed their hearts were in the right place, but their actions had as usual caused a terrible mess.
 
Both Mac and Cherilee had wound up in a deep hole in wedding dress with no memory of what had happened before hand.
 
Still, the event had its consolation. He’d gotten to know Cherilee afterwards and found in her a dear friend. She was the first pony he’d ever confessed his secret desires to, and she’d simply accepted them, even helped him.
 
One day he was certain she’d make some mare very happy.
 
He had to laugh at the incident in hindsight, of course his little sister would try to set two ponies who were interested only in their own gender up on a date.
 
Now he looked at the soft pink panties in his hand and felt a warmth fill him. Ms. Rarity had also understood, had also been kind and gentle. Mac recalled her face when he’d sheepishly explained what he’d wanted and she’d simply taken his hand and patted it gently.
 
The dressmaker tailor made his secret for him, had told him how ravishing he looked in pink, and had refused payment completely.
 
Mac slid the silky garment over his leg, shivering at the touch of it against his coat. The fit around his testes was snug but comfortable, his stallionhood now growing as it always did when he indulged his secret stuck out over it which he’d always thought a wonderfully sexy touch.
 
He adored the way it slid into the crack of his backside, the fabric just tickly the puckered ring on his tight backdoor.
 
Next were the stockings, each one a masterwork in lace that ended mid thigh. Big Mac could not silence a soft groan of pleasure as he ran his fingers over the beautifully soft fabric. Almost without willing it he found his rough, work calloused hands going to his maleness, so long and thick and hard, and for just a moment he imagined that they weren’t his, but rather those of another man who would stroke him as he took him.
 
This stallion would find a perfectly submissive lover in Mac, who would service him in any way he pleased so long as his master kept him feeling like a gorgeous little prize.
 
With some reluctance he took his hand away and removed the final piece of the ensemble, a lace corset. Rarity had been reluctant to make that piece, saying that corsets might look gorgeous but when drawn tight they could terribly hurt a pony. Mac had got it from her by promising never to do so, and he was good as his word.
 
The simple feeling of it so tight and snug against him was all he needed.
 
Finally dressed Big Macintosh ran his hands over each piece of the garment again, savoring the smooth, cool textures and the contrast between them and his rough, warm coat. He closed his eyes as his hands found the hot iron bar of his cock and let out a soft, pleased noise, a rumble of contentment as he lost himself in fantasy.
 
Mac did not long to be a mare, though he knew there were those that did and his heart went out to them, he simply wanted to be sexy. He dreamed of being a sweet slip of a stallion that caused even the straightest of males to grow hard.
 
He imagined a room, simple and unimportant compared to the stallions there. All of them would be big and burly, cruelly handsome with dark eyes. He’d feel their hands all over him, making him feel truly desirable for the first time in his life.
 
As the first one penetrated him, the big stallion would whisper how beautiful Mac was and then they’d all take him.
 
One in the mouth, two in his hands and one in his eager, needy backdoor. They’d all cum again and again, his make up would run from the ejaculate running down his face and he’d have their sticky loads filling his belly and ass.
 
Big Macintosh came with a grunt, grasping his hand around the flared head of his cock so he could feel the hot, sticky seed gushing over palm and fingers. He licked them clean, imagining doing the same for a cock that had just emptied its load down his throat and the moment passed.
 
In his secret he still felt gorgeous and sexy, something any man would want but for the moment his lust was spent. Later it would be up again, but for now he was hungry.
 
He dressed quickly and left the farmhouse, the winter air cold and crisp. Bracing really, just the sort of weather to be appreciated with a cup of steaming hot coffee and a donut or two.
 
Big Macintosh stepped out onto the road heading towards Sugarcube Corner and an observer would have noted a bit more bounce and sway in his step, his head held higher and smile wider than normal.
 
A truly observant one would have seen the most beautiful stallion in the world.
 
END
jjtheduder

Okay, since no one else wants to comment, I will. This little story having no comments is a damn shame.
 
GMA, fantastic read. Very touching, erotic, and just a hint of melancholy. We feel bad for Mac because he can’t be who he wants to be. Great job.
Background Pony #E246
I can’t believe I somehow missed this.
 
You may think it odd but this is one of those rare pieces of writing that’s really touched me. jj is right to say this is somewhat melancholic in offering a glimpse into the mind of a stallion who wants to be something he’s not. But I do feel that overall–and especially with the ending–there’s an air of acceptance. Even if he can’t physically be a more effeminate looking stallion, he can at least don apparel that lends itself to that.
 
And, I think, that does go some way towards fulfilling his dream - you note casually that a lot of mares find him attractive which I think we can definitively say, given events in the show (and perhaps to a greater extent, the comics). And while that may not be the kind of attractiveness he’d like to exhibit, being able to put on lingerie… well, it’s obvious it makes Mac feel sexy in the way he does want. So yes, while he may never be a slip of a stallion that doesn’t mean he can’t adopt the mannerisms and, in some ways, the appearance of one.
 
Which brings me to my next point: just how deliciously erotic this is! And that is sadly a word I can’t often use when talking about explicit writing. It’s easy to make something arousing and alluring but this feels a little more careful in that regard. The detail you lavish upon Mac’s appearance, on that of the lingerie and how he puts it on is sumptuous. And the little asides about Cheerilee and Rarity only add to that (she’s precisely the kind of person I’d see doing something like that, it was perfect!). He’s not escaping into fantasy to avoid a world and society that dislikes him, but because it just makes him happy and he has friends who equally want him to be happy.
 
There’s no shame here, Mac delights in what he does and that kind of happiness in itself can be awfully enticing. And again, I come back to the ending because, well, I think you’ve made it adequately clear that this isn’t something that hangs over him so again, it feeds into the idea that deep down he is happy.
 
But I’m taking it all piecemeal there, which doesn’t really address why this touches me so much. Although I’m struggling to find a better way of saying “it’s just the way it all comes together”. Maybe it is, just as with Mac, being gay I’m used to feeling that same “round peg in a square hole” way though for different reasons. Though I think anyone who runs counter to society’s norms could see something of themselves in this.
 
So thank you for writing this, GMA. It’s a little treasure.
gasmaskangel
Magical Inkwell - Wrote MLP fanfiction consisting of at least around 1.5k words, and has a verified link to the platform of their choice
Artist -
Since the Beginning  -

@Background Pony #64AC  
That is pretty much exactly what I was going for, but I never believed that anyone would think I succeeded. You are far too kind, but I thank you for it none the less.
 
Truth be told this is honestly one of my favorite stories that I’ve written.
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