Story Wars

 
Jesus fucking christ.

@toxicrystal
 
Makin’ my way up. :P

Made a thing.
 
@And Brother I Hurt People  
Also see that you’re on the site currently, thanks to my friend Chatango.

@toxicrystal
 
I was reading that.
 
The chat on that site is a little odd. There are about two people on there that I like, and the rest of them are…well, one thirteen year old girl on there threatened suicide, and when I was talking to her using my patened therapist voice, she got pissy and told me to fuck off, that she didn’t need meds or a therapist when she had Story Wars. Oookay. Another one just inexplicably hates me. One straight up told me that I “sound like a virgin” with no indication. Ninety percent sure one of them is an art thief. One of them keeps begging to be a character in our stories. It’s a bit uncomfortable.

@And Brother I Hurt People  
Hoooooooooh boy.
 
>”I don’t need meds, I have Story Wars!”
 
I just… I… what I… why would… what the fuck?

I also do enjoy the little bit about the patented therapist voice.

@toxicrystal
 
She kept linking me poems that she wrote and saying “YOU SEE THIS SAYAKA?? THIS IS MY THERAPY”.
 
According to her, she doesn’t want to get help because she doesn’t want to take meds. She cited therapists as being known to give meds, and of course everyone was like “what are you talking about, they’re not licensed to do that”, but she kept insisting that they were.
 
Weird shit.

@And Brother I Hurt People  
I mean, I don’t want to take meds either.  
Tough shit, though, I don’t want to be admitted.

@toxicrystal
 
Yeah, I don’t know. I wasn’t expecting to face a full frontal crisis on there.
 
On the bright side, there is one guy that I really adore on there. Good writer, jokes about the bullshit in the chat.
 
Also, what the fuck.

@And Brother I Hurt People  

 
MA’AM YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND.

Holy shit, Mallory is a recurring character.

@toxicrystal
 
Oh, please.
 
_{we can share.}
 
 
@toxicrystal
 
It’s all by the same crowd of people. They vote for one another’s chapters, which is why I’m frankly shocked my chapter made it to begin with.

Why did I @ you twice.

I vote Mallory as our mascot.

@toxicrystal
 
Mallory is my best friend.

@Background Pony #2E79
 
Why is the anon button so close to reply?

@And Brother I Hurt People  
Because… uh… God hates the Internet?
 
Wait, is Mallory one of your IRL friends?

@toxicrystal
 
You’ve never read one of those infamous stories?
 
Lemmie explain some Story Wars lore to you.
 
See, those people I mentioned before that circlejerk one another’s chapters all have an eerie theme in common: they post stories titled “Life of *”. The name is different every time, but the story never is (though admittedly, the one I linked is a unique variant). The story? Always the same too.
 
“* is my best friend.
 
TO BE CONTINUED.”
 
Even though this is SW and OF COURSE THE STORY IS GOING TO BE CONTINUED.
 
But it gets weirder. All of the chapter responses? They’re all the same thing, too. “She is awesome!” “She is very cool.” “I like her a lot”. And more often than not, those tend to win. It’s…so strange.

@And Brother I Hurt People  
Oh no, I know those stories.

“SaintSayaka has submitted a chapter for Good Night and Good Luck”
 
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

@toxicrystal
 
I may or may have not mentioned a really shitty emo band in my draft.

@And Brother I Hurt People  
Oh God, did you vandalize it?

@toxicrystal
 
No, don’t worry.

@toxicrystal  
Mallory wears many hats, apparently.
 
Also, congrats on being one of the top users, Brother!