Posts

Another woman’s heart breaks as I say nothing, all at the destruction of my humanity.

@Background Pony #7DD0
I grasped onto the social expectation of autism being an illness. I know it’s not an illness, it’s an adaptation to illness, including familiar psychosocial illness. Might be a response to inflammation disorder in brain, could be linked to Tylenol but God knows let’s not make assumptions.

My autistic brother is the only sibling that does real work. In IT and logistics engineer.

Autistic brother was our scape goat. Dad punished him to avoid punishing me. Dad only got super violent towards me when autistic brother ran away.

’Treating ’ autism might actually involve fixing the way society treats autism.

That trans god-complex chronic online weirdo does need people who treat them honestly without motives of exploitation or infamy.

@Beth
At least you admit your wrong doings.

But Autism isn’t mental illness, it is only just a neurotype, correct it.

Chris Chan on the other hand… has mental illnesses those stemmed from entirely egoistic and ignorance.

*whriting pitbulls not writing. That would be funny lol.

I don’t know how I feel.
Or how to describe it.
All I know is that it’s terrible and makes me feel like wanting to be dead.

Thinking about jumping today…

It’s hopeless. Only negative thoughts.

I have derealization disorder…might just blast myself.

@Kicks24Sf
I’m not going to kill myself. I just want to cry it out and feel better like everybody else.

Is completely ceasing to exist more appealing to you than living?

Everything just turning pitch black. Except it’s not even that cause you just don’t exist. It’s just absolutely nothing. Killing yourself doesn’t fix anything, it just removes the possibility that it’ll ever get better.

I want to die.

Had my own post already in General Discussions, was asking for help. Just recently.

Ever since the very moment I was conceived people wanted to get rid of me.

I’m a bastard child with no connections in life and no future to hope for.

Being diagnosed with schizophrenia, best thing I can do for this world is drop dead.

Every time in life I’m always the scapegoat to put someone on their high horse.

In the future I’ll likely have no one to turn to, I fear what will become of myself.

@Beth
I am not strong enough. I am but a mere meat husk reacting on impulse and habit and to say I am of little use is an understatement, which would imply I am useful, which I am not. I think my body is too damaged.

@Badheart
I agree.

Looking at the sheer number of people also facing hardship is humbling.

We all have to find our inner strengths and help each other.

We need to be strong…..

I think I am perishing.

Respect is easily lost and relationships always die.

I do not know why this happens to me, this feeling is beginning to affect me. Making a mistake is fine, making a very serious one is already something. It’s horrible when everyone pretends everything is fine, but I feel like things aren’t right.
Why doesn’t this feeling of anxiety go away? Distracting myself is becoming more and more difficult, at the same time this feeling is growing.
Why did I have to open my mouth? I know I can be reckless, but I do it with the best of intentions (I guess that makes me a cretin).
I do not know if there will be consequences, I do not know how I should face them, I do not want to ruin those I love by a misunderstanding.
I’m not calm, I’m very afraid & I don’t know if I would see if I’d be scared, should I be?

@Jade Kitsune
I got benign cancer on various spots of my skin. It can rapidly form metastasis on any part of my body, but i have no resources or motivation to look into it. I only want like 5 more years of life. You need to get this checked within six months. Don’t scrape at the skincancer, your body is already forming boundaries against it, and scraping the skin cancer yourself can introduce it into your bloodstream, where it can settle in the lungs and brain.

@Badheart
Me too, it’s so hard if not impossible to fix.

@MethidMan
Unfortunately my doctor won’t be back until next spring.

Reminds me of when I had a bump on the side of my scalp when I was a kid.

It was a wart…

Mom saw a tiny bump on the side of my scalp and she’s thinking it might be cancer.

I hurt a lot of people throughout my life.