Agent Luna
I cannot stand this depression of mine going on a whole week straight. I’m taking my meds, sleeping fine, going to work everyday like normal. What the fuck. I guess it’s because I get really envious and upset that most my age are all cuddled-up in bed with someone like a perfectly functional, mentally stable person, unlike myself. This is how I used to feel a long time ago. I used to not give a shit and embrace that I’ll be single and it’s okay if no one likes me. Now I just can’t stand it. I’m almost at the point where I’d pay the opposite sex just to fucking talk to me.
Dammit. I didn’t want to go back to the old me. Now I’m anxious and wanting to escape somewhere, to pretend that there is a better place for me. I want to cry but I’m so stubborn to let it out. That pain inside my chest is back. That feeling of zero self-worth and rotting away, wishing my life was nearly over to imagine a world beyond life as we comprehend it. I can’t do this again. But I don’t know how to stop this. I’m always alone, and it never works being alone. What the hell did I do in a past-life to deserve such punishment?
Dammit. I didn’t want to go back to the old me. Now I’m anxious and wanting to escape somewhere, to pretend that there is a better place for me. I want to cry but I’m so stubborn to let it out. That pain inside my chest is back. That feeling of zero self-worth and rotting away, wishing my life was nearly over to imagine a world beyond life as we comprehend it. I can’t do this again. But I don’t know how to stop this. I’m always alone, and it never works being alone. What the hell did I do in a past-life to deserve such punishment?