The Continuing Adventures of Medi-Bat

Joseph Raszagal
Wallet After Summer Sale -

Emily Brickenbrackle III
@BigBuggyBastage  
Well, why I enjoy drinking, I can’t quite go as hard about it as I could back when I was still 22, you know? xD
 
Plus, if I did drink that hard still, I’d be going to work with the aftermath hangovers. And I hate hate hate working with a hangover =P .
 
Like I said though, no worries; I’ll be around to post some stuff.
Joseph Raszagal
Wallet After Summer Sale -

Emily Brickenbrackle III
Somewhere in Deep Space… Somebody’s Being an Idiot
 
[Location: The ship’s galley. Time: Breakfast! Issue: Insert Star Trek argument here.]
 
Me: “Argue all you want, there’s no way I’m going to relent on this. Janeway wasn’t a bad captain.”
 
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Are you kidding me, Master?!”
 
Me: [Shoulder shruggle] “Nope. When she was good, she was great. When she was bad, okay yeah, she was an idiot. That’s not the character’s fault though; that’s the writing.”
 
[Medi hops up onto the tip of my nose and stares me dead in the eyes. She’s trying to look intimidating, I guess, but in the end even her anger tends to come off as adorable.]
 
“But she’s just as much of a threat to the Federation as the Borg are!”
 
Me: “Okay, now you’re just being silly. Even at her stupidest, and I’ll admit that she could be pretty dang dumb at times, she was never as much of a threat to civilized life as the Collective. They literally go around eating planets and societies to make more of themselves.”
 
[Medi glides off of my nose over the table where a bowl of Captain Crunch Oops! All Berries awaits her. She lands in the bowl and begins to angrily munch her breakfast from the inside out.]
 
Me: “Oh, c’mon, there’s no need to sulk. We just disagree on the, that’s all. People come to impasses in their ideas all the time.”
 
[Medi munches harder and louder in an effort to drown me out]
 
Me: “You know… Janeway never was my favorite character from the show anyway.”
 
[The munching ceases]
 
Me: “I seem to remember a Mr. Picardo stealing the show in almost every episode he was in.”
 
[Medi bursts from the cereal swimming pool in a shower of Crunch Berries. The smile on her face is immediately infectious.]
 
“Ohmygosh ohmygosh! The Doctor was the best! Such a snarky so-and-so, but so interesting in his journey to become more human! His story arc was everything that I loved about Lieutenant Commander Data, but a doctor on top of that! I mean, how awesome is that?!
 
[As_if_I_didn’t_know_that.jpg]
 
[Just another ordinary day in the neighborhood for Joey and Da Bat]
97blackbird

@Joseph Raszagal
LoLoL Loved this! :D
And yes, Janeway was [written?] horribly insane and despotic. ;)
 
“Alien” was written with all characters genderless in the script. The filmmakers decided who to cast for each part. Ripley ends up being a kick-ass heroine because Sigorney Weaver played a kick-ass character as a woman.  
Janeway should have been done in similar fashion. It’s my belief that the writers got too hung up on writing a “Female Captain” when they should have just written a ‘Captain’ and left the rest up to the actor.
 
But I didn’t see much of the series, I didn’t like what I saw enough to follow, and heard the complaints of those who did, and thus never saw much later. My opinion isn’t based on much direct observation. I don’t know how “stupid” some of her decisions were episode to episode. I liked the ‘human-seeking’ Data and the ‘human-alien conflict of Spock, but the Doctor’s human conflict seemed forced. Almost like they knew they needed a Spock-like character for the fans and how do they do that and yet keep it different.
Castellan Fyor
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Non-Fungible Trixie -

For the Emperor!
@Joseph Raszagal  
Whatever, I need to write it.
 
Prepare for horrible fanfiction of a fanfic!
 
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
 
Joe: An ordinary day. And you want to know what an ordinary day needs? Something from the bar.
 
Medi-bat: Don’t forget the apple juice!  
[Medi-bat, the smug little bat that knows they can get their way.]  
[Joe groans a very tired sigh.]
 
Joe: Fine, but you know we only have so many of those. And it’s a long trip back home. Computer, bring me and Medi-bat a shot of bourbon and an juice box.
 
[Computer makes a windows error noise.]
 
Computer: Error 404: Could not find; (1) Bourbon; (1) Itty-Bitty Bat Brand Apple-juice box.
 
Joe: How is that possible! We had…
 
[Joe quickly counts on his fingers]
 
Joe: Lotz! We had lots of things! Fine, bring me a vodka and medi-bat a grape-juice!
 
[Error noise]
 
Computer: Error 404: Could not find; (1) Absolut Vodka; (1) Bitty-Itty Bat Brand Grape-juice box.
 
[Joe becomes angry.png]
 
Joe: Computer! Show me the cameras to the bar and storage room!
 
[Its a horrific sight. Dozens of live-feed images show up on the screen of empty crates and smashed bottles on bars. Not a drop is left.]
 
[The door opens]
 
[In stumbles a very drunk communist, carrying a bottle of the last Absolut Vodka]
 
Me: Incoherent drunk shouting
 
To be continued…
 
 
 
Also, really guys? Star Trek? Pfft,_ I have Star Wars on my side.
BigBuggyBastage
Pixel Perfection - I still call her Lightning Bolt
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Non-Fungible Trixie -
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!

Go fsck yourself
@97blackbird  
I can agree with those sentiments completely. :)
 
[prepare your anus eyes for a diversion]
 
Just my dumb thought on the series as a whole, but Voyager wasn’t its own show, or at least it didn’t start out as one, for better and worse. Its Season One was, in my own and many viewers’ opinions, merely ST:TNG Season Eight – don’t get me wrong, I loved ST:TNG! It had matured FAR beyond where it had started (think of any TNG Season One episode LoL), the characters were rich, and the Trek universe had been made better. But it had also run its course; the writing had become stale, often uninspired, or merely boring. Rick Berman [shudder] also came along for the ride/relaunch, as did a number of actually-talented people from ST:TNG, in no small part because they were the experienced hands of the franchise: Jeri Taylor (who had a straight-up girl boner for Janeway, and boy did it show lol), Brannon Braga, Ron Moore, & Michael Piller (RIP). It’s little surprise then that Voyager felt so much like a continuation of TNG, again for better and worse.
 
Janeway’s character had (many of) her own issues, to be sure. But the writers as a whole didn’t seem to care about her consistently coming across as a Real Captain, as you’ve pointed out. For clarity, I say this was NOT the actress’ fault at all. There were some later-season episodes where Mulgrew’s performances could nearly bring a tear to my eye, how GOOD they were, and all I could think later was, “why the heck isn’t this show THIS good, ALL the time?!”
 
The trouble was always the script. If the writers don’t put it on the page, you’re not going to get it on the screen. Improv can only patch the rough sections together. Beyond that, it’s going to be a disjointed mess if your underlying story (plot) isn’t clear, good, or well thought out, let alone written down.
 
IMO, it was that ‘episodic’ writing, i.e. hitting the reset button at the end, that contributed to making Janeway inconsistent at best, and at worst, downright…I dunno, almost evil? Sometimes crazy? Sort of bipolar? With a Machiavellian bent? Her motivations and actions seemed to be all over the map, for the sake of returning everything to ‘normal’ by the end – yes, there were exceptions, but overall, it was the rule. At least with TOS, TNG, and DS9, we got consistency from our captains.
 
[/diversion]
 
@Communist Starlight  
Much squatting and yelling of BLYAT! ensued. XD
 
p.s. Star Wars has been dead to me since the early 2000s, I’m sorry to say. I grew up in the 1980s, with the ‘original’ movies. It was bad enough when George couldn’t keep his paws off works he’d finished 20-30 years previously – “Ooh, I know: let’s toss in some shitty CGI! THAT’LL get people to buy it again!” – but the half-baked ‘prequels’…that was one of only two times I’ve walked out on a movie. By the time he sold out to Disney, the Great Satan of our times (lol), I didn’t care anymore. I won’t say Lucas killed my childhood. But it certainly feels like he punched his former fans in the gut, took our money, and walked away.
BigBuggyBastage
Pixel Perfection - I still call her Lightning Bolt
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Non-Fungible Trixie -
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!

Go fsck yourself
@Communist Starlight  
I have to admit, I haven’t. That’s how bad George hurt me. LoL
 
No seriously, I remember seeing bits and pieces, here and there, but I’ve not given it a fair shake. Maybe I’ll find the time to do so, since Pone is on hiatus until G5.
 
 
Heh, wouldn’t that be a kick in the blin: George Lucas doing G5 of Pone. D:
Joseph Raszagal
Wallet After Summer Sale -

Emily Brickenbrackle III
First off, I’m both amazed and grateful that you guys still really like this silly, little idea and that it’s blossomed enough interest to spark an argument. I mean, I’m sitting here reading a Stephen King book and suddenly a crazy amount of awesome is blooming for almost no reason.
 
It’s beautiful!
 
Second off:
 
From the Nebulous and Abstract Thought Processes of the Inebriated… Comes This
 
Me: “Medi, please confirm my current concerns. Stuff’s goin’ wrong, yo.”
 
“Master, it seems as though we’ve passed through a Bizarro Field en course to Anime Reverence IV.”
 
Me: [Utmost confusion] “Which means?”
 
“All your vital signs have gone all flibbity-flopped! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
 
Computer: “CAPTAIN, I WOULD RECOMMEND NOT IMBIBING SUGAR FOR THE NEXT 48 HOURS. DOING OTHERWISE WOULD BE~
 
“Heya, who’s the medical officer?!”
 
Me: [Utmost personal concern] “Um, is this really the time to argue~
 
[Everyone totally forgets about the fact that I’m probably dying]
 
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! What do you know about medical advice, you’re just a navigation system with dreams of advanced AI?”
 
Computer: “WOW. THAT MAY VERY WELL BE THE MOST INSENSITIVE THING EVER SAID TO ME. I HAVE ONLY EVER TRIED TO HELP.”
 
Me: [Convulsions] “H-h-h-h-elp meeeeeeee…”
 
[It gets worse… because of course it does]
 
Me: “Medi… p-please contact Starfle-e-e-e~
 
[All communication breaks off]
Castellan Fyor
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Non-Fungible Trixie -

For the Emperor!
@BigBuggyBastage  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
Dearest of gods what ungodly abomination is that?
 
 
Anyways, to continue my other story because I finally am curious enough to see how my own horrible story is going.
 
“AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!” EEEEEEEEEEE!
 
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%~
 
[Silence fills the bridge, except for the hicking of a drunk communist]
 
[Joe crosses that space in two steps, and grabs the drunk by the shirt]
 
Joe: You monster! You took all my alchohol!
 
Medi-bat: EEEEE! And my juice! How could you?
 
Computer: AND YOU HIJACKED THE WI-FI.
 
[Joe looks back, confused.]
 
Computer: JUST TRYING TO HELP.
 
Joe: …
 
[Joe turns back to the task at hand]
 
Joe: Where are we supposed to get more supplies! That alchohol was once in a lifetime, super-rare market brand stuff! Where are we supposed to get more?
 
Me: Blinku
 
Me: Isha Tim masshine gonn work?
 
Joe: A Tim machine?
 
Me: A… Time… Mah… Chine… * Hic *
 
Computer: PERPOSTEROUS. A TIME MACHINE IS ONLY IN FANTASY STORIES AND VIDEO GAMES WHERE COMMUNISTS… OH.
 
Me: [Squats, somehow. Heels on the ground when Slavs are around] Lemme tell yah about da time I… Wal’ ed into a ol timmy general store in 18… 39…
 
Medi-bat: This is no time for telling stories! Where is the Tim Machine! [Angry medi-bat swoops in front of my face]
 
Joe: Time Machine, medi-bat.
 
Medi-bat: He called it Tim Machine and thus it has been christened. Where is the Tim Machine, Communist!
 
Me: [Looks at bottom of Vodka bottle, sees a little bit left and offers it to Joe] Bac’ ship, uuh… sumwhere
 
Joe: [Angry sighing] Get this man an IV drip, we’ll sober him up and then maybe he’ll talk.
 
TO BE CONTINUED…
Joseph Raszagal
Wallet After Summer Sale -

Emily Brickenbrackle III
@Communist Starlight  
It is of my firm opinion that as long as you’re enjoying yourself, the quality of the story is completely irrelevant. If you have fun writing it, then it may as well be a masterpiece.
 
So, comrade, did you have fun? =D
97blackbird

Joe: You monster! You took all my alchohol!
Medi-bat: EEEEE! And my juice! How could you?
Computer: AND YOU HIJACKED THE WI-FI.
 
The greatest of all sins broken at once. Nobody should ever hijack the WiFi.  
Loved this!
Joseph Raszagal
Wallet After Summer Sale -

Emily Brickenbrackle III
The Past… Sometimes Comes Back to You
 
[Floating in deepest space, out there in the far-off places that nobody has ever really explored, and I guess I’m getting sentimental or something]
 
“Master, do you ever get sad about everything that came up to this point?”
 
[Medi flips down to land on my nose, giving me a surprisingly serious stare as she looks me in the eyes. She seems very earnest in her question.]
 
Me: [Actually somewhat surprised] “What do you mean?”
 
“You know, all those brave explorers that came before us…. the ones that we’ve since lost… uh, in whatever weirdo time-frame we exist in? I dunno. I think I might’ve made this harder for me to explain than I intended.”
 
[Some heroes come to mind, nations be damned. Blame nationalism, we humans weren’t thinking as a whole at the time.]
 
Me: “Yeah… every once in a while.”
 
EEEEEEEEEEE! Really? It’s not just me?”
 
Me: [Sad chuckle] “No, you’re definitely not alone there. Any space-farer worth their salt knows that there have been many lives lost in the name of better understanding the stars and the even greater beyond.”
 
“Oh! Oh! So then what was it like back on Human Earth?”
 
Me: “As opposed to Equine Earth?”
 
“You already know they’re not the same place!”
 
Me: [Relenting] “Fine, fine. So… human space-faring heroes. There’s more than a few. More than a few that I honor every day.”
 
[Medi looks into my eyes deeply]
 
“Who are they?”
 
Me: [Legitimately choking up a bit] “Well… there’s Yuri Gagarin, the very first man in space. Massive respect for the courage that must have taken. There’s also Nail Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, and Michael Collins who manned the first mission from our human Earth to the moon.”
 
[Pause]
 
Me: [Tearing up] “As well as a dog. Her… her name was Laika. She was the very first, before the rest of us. She… she didn’t come back.”
 
[A greater pause]
 
“Master, are you alright?”
 
Me: [Act cool, yo] “Who, me? Heh… yeah. I’m fine. It just feels like we’ve lost a lot of them now, that’s all.”
 
“Well, time does continue to turn, Master. It never really stops.”
 
Me: [Begrudgingly] “Yes, I suppose that’s true.”
 
“Well, what if they’re up there right now?”
 
[Um… what?]
 
Me: “Come again, Medi?”
 
[My tiny, little bat-medic holds the bridge of my nose in her hooves]
 
“You know, Master. Up there!”
 
[With one hoof she points out through the space-screen towards the eternity of space]
 
“There with Luna’s Moon and Stars… What if they’re still out there, in some other way, still exploring the universe that they loved so much?”
 
Me: [Inelegant blubbering that Medi doesn’t understand and yet still tries to console]
 
Well, you wanted me to keep drinking xD .
Joseph Raszagal
Wallet After Summer Sale -

Emily Brickenbrackle III
I guess that was to build on the fact that this bullshit exists in space. As such, Medi appears to appreciate the explorers of our past. Or something. I’m still drunk and I have no idea what I was going for. I think I probably got too caught up in listening to David Bowie’s “Space Oddity” and got sad.
 
Forgive me.
 
More entertaining stories should be forthcoming x3 .
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