Lewd Talk Thread [NSFW]

I thought of getting a dakimakura, so I looked at a website for them.

I was genuinely shocked by the selection. Some of this stuff could get me landed in jail, I’m certain of it.

@Meanlucario

I doubt it’s too complicated a maneuver, so long as neither of you are holding popcorn.

@Lord WyrmSpawN
Why would you eat popcorn while watching porn?

@Meanlucario
That’s how you get creamed corn.

So there’s an OC of my friend’s, a villainess who has the ability to hypnotize people with her breasts (more-or-less the same ability as Mighty Endowed from DC Comics…no, really) and I’d hoped to collaborate with him and make a one-shot where my persona (the half-kitsune) would smugly tell her that she wouldn’t be able to hypnotize him because he’s part of a centuries-old bloodline of kitsunes, more powerful than any human. She winds up hypnotizing him anyway because he’s half-human, which is just as susceptible to her power anyway.

You don’t deserve context:

@Meanlucario
Oh, I don’t want context.

I’d like to voluntarily get my ass kicked exclusively by a female MMA fighter.

So, I decided to take a plunge and join hookup communities and put up some ads. Figured the best way to do it would be to just… do it. Dive in. Take photos and post them. See what happens.

Wish me luck y’all.

I’m very horny right now…
That’s all I have to say, always kinda wanted to tell people that when I am.

Welp, it would seem as though the dominating depiction of my favorite character in rule 34 is with massive boobs.

Shame. I’d prefer more realistic proportions.

@Background Pony #052D
I hate that. If I’m attracted to a character it’s to them, not some fetishy exaggerated version of them.

Honestly, I liked gilfs. For an example, that sheep lady by DreamyPride.

Yanking it is my antidepressant.

I don’t expect this to be from “goblin slayer” also if anyone wants to know it’s from “goblin slayer side story year one chapter 36” according to Google lens.

Sure would be nice if people stopped kink-shaming me. Unfortunately I can’t shame them either or I’d be “no better than them”.

@Hali the Emoji girl
Witch’s Printing Office volume 6.

@DanielOrange
No one is kink-shaming you here as far as I can tell.

God damn I find Metal chicks hot.

@𝕭𝖆𝖉𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙
Like Jenny Wakeman?

@AwkwardLuna
Exactly! Yet all the recent art of her gives her those crappy bimbo proportions and barely even looks like the same character. It’s as if people want to only see her as a big tiddy goth bimbo instead of actually being true to the character.

@DanielOrange
I think he means metalhead girls. Can’t be sure, though.

I’d like to read a breeding fic with the Totally spies.

@Shyette
I honestly doubt you’d struggle to find that.

I live in a harem anime.

Since I have gotten engaged, I shit you not, at least 3 ex’s have reappeared wanting me to either marry them, fuck them, or get them knocked up.

I’m not sure if I’m blessed or cursed.

@Zincy
If everyone consents, I say let them bang.

@Zincy
You left those women for a reason, stay loyal to your wife.

@Background Pony #052D
Metalheads

@Zincy
Cursed.

If they only came back out of the woodwork after hearing you’re engaged they’re not serious, they just want what someone else is getting. Ignore ’em.