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But you are Ulrich von Bek, here. Do you the Devil’s work.
I, on the other hand, am Foreground Pony, here.
Why are you stating things that are all completely true in the canon universe (although #3 isn’t because mares are straight for him)?
Rainbow Dash can fly.
Everypony is gay for Braburn.
Celestia is an incredibly useless god.
Everypony in this town is crazy.
SLOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW…
YOU KNOW WHAT? LET’S DISPENSE WITH THE WITTY BANTER AND GET RIGHT TO THE CHASE
(throws NightJack to distant, uninhabited planet)
(za warudo - time is frozen. Except for me)
(Goldion Crusher)
…Well I feel the same, except for the strange cannibalistic urges I guess or is that normal?
(grabs him, breaks his spine)
ABUSE TEXTILEHAVE COURAGEI WILL BREAK YOU!
YOUR AMBITIONS CAN’T HOPE TO STAND AGAINST MY COURAGE, NIGHTJACK!
That’s just it, in this AU I’m not mad but am now an evil brute.
I’m like pony bane!
I don’t have enough personality to know what an AU of me would be like :(
I’m sorry did I whisper that? (pulls out megaphone) NO!
NO! (evil laugh)