Person Above You

^
 
How did you came up with the repulsor gel?

< What fuckery has been unleashed here?

^  
Aperture Science things

^
 
You seem happy to be here

^^ ¶ortalz

^
 
YoU mUte MoNStEr

^
 
You’re a moron, Quasar.

^  
to answer your qestion: toothpaste lots of lots of toothpaste

^^
 
Shut up Weathley
 
^
 
Uuuuuuuuhhhh

^  
Before we start testing today, let’s have our mandatory minute of silence in honor of Earth’s governing body, the Sentient Cloud. [throat clear] Starting now. [a pause] [coughing] [a longer pause] [more coughing] [still more pausing] Good, right. All ha il the sentient cloud. Begin testing

< Wishes what the Sega channel were still online.

^
 
You’re not alone  
….you’re alright, (Possibly Vargus) BP
 
 
< ^ > v
 
cartoon sounds followed by 4 ominous bass notes
 
BUP UP BUP UP BUP BAHH DADAWHUP BUP BUP BAHHHHHHH  
_{dum-ma dum-ma dumma duhh-mah}

^  
Cave here. The real Cave. Greg’s been crunching some numbers here on Earth Prime. Turns out, the likelihood of me being the only Cave who likes talking to test subjects is– [off mic] What’s the actual number, Greg? [on mic] Right. Zero. So tell you what, we’re gonna use a code word. If I say chariots, it means you’re listening to me. Otherwise, it’s an imposter Cave. I want you to know, you have a license to kill on this one. [off mic] What? [on mic] Greg says that might destroy the entire multiverse. Point is, use your own judgement. [fast, intimate] License-to-kil

^
 
I want to win 40 bucks working with you

^  
(tap dancing noises) Hey. It’s Cave. Someone’s not daaaancing. Come on. You know the law - testing IS NOT a dance exemption. Don’t make me call the dance police

< OH GOD I NEED HELP

<Is thinking of getting a torrent for Pony Parade.

^^
 
Lady friend?

^ Welcome, gentlemen, to Aperture Rituals. Astronauts, war heroes, olympians: you’re here because of an ancient mating ritual etched in a monolith by the Elder Monks to forestall the end of days. So, who is ready to make love to a giant bird?

^^^
 
VOOGUS!

^
 
Hokus Pukus, Muchus Mucus

^Wants to torrent Cupcake corral.

^  
Cave here. Chariots. Just a heads up: If it seems like you’re walking faster than light, you’re probably in a universe where light doesn’t haul nearly as much ass as it does on Earth One. The lab boys say if you insist on walking faster than light, you are one hundred percent going to go back in time. How far? Far enough to meet your great great grandfather and tell him you’re fired. Because guess what? I’ll let you finish that thought

^ I am from Gobotron, thank you

^  
It’s come to my attention that over half of our test subjects have only recently awoken from extended relaxation and were unaware that we’re testing in space. So there it is: No conspiracy. No twist. We’re in a test satellite orbiting the Earth. Commonly available information that absolutely anyone would have told you if you’d bothered to ask. Please stop forming groups of adventuring parties to uncover the big secret, because it’s that we’re in space.