Crazy Headcanons

Are we doing depressing-as-balls headcanons now? Ok, I can roll with that.

Rainbow Dash and Trixie both are obsessed with attention and proving how awesome they are, because the only time their parents paid any attention to them was hurl emotional abuse and ridicule.

Similarly Fluttershy developed a shy, meek personality because being as quiet and unobtrusive as possible was the only way to avoid her father’s drunken wrath.

Most of Ponyville don’t actually like Pinkie. They’re in the throes of Stockholm Syndrome, and react to Pinkie because showcasing their true feelings would get Pinkie to go all stalker on them.

Adding to this, Pinkie is completely aware of how most ponies feel about her, which is why she is so frightened of losing her only real friends. Despite what most of the town thinks, when she’s rejected she just sits in her room and has tea parties with imaginary friends before cutting herself as punishment for her failure. The scars blend in with her pink coat.

@SpacePaladin

Most of Ponyville don’t actually like Pinkie. They’re in the throes of Stockholm Syndrome, and react to Pinkie because showcasing their true feelings would get Pinkie to go all stalker on them.

I’ve thought this myself. Maybe I’m just old and cynical, but I don’t see how anyone could really like Pinkie’s behaviour. (granted I know actual children who say Pinkie is their favourite pony, so yeah)

Granny Smith is uncomfortable with the thought of her granddaughters marrying a pegasus or unicorn, but she’d never say anything about it.

• Like with human (and horse) races in real life, when Little Ponies of different races mate, the result is a genetic blend, though with Little Ponies naturally one race must manifest over any others. However, the mixed-race offspring is extremely likely to have race-based attributes less powerful than either of its parents (i.e. a filly born of an Earthpony stallion and Pegasus mare that manifests as Earthpony will not be as strong as her father, and of course won’t be able to fly or touch clouds). This perpetuates the preexisting tendency of Ponies to not race-mix, particularly in small towns like Ponyville (where physical prowess matters) or in Canterlot (where the nobility places heavy emphasis on Purity), to say nothing of Cloudsdale (which is the most racist place in Equestria by far). Therefore…
   
• Twilight Sparkle & Shining Armor are 100% pureblood Unicorn, which is a big reason why they’re so incredibly powerful.  
• The Apple Family main branch are all pureblood Earthponies and proud of it. (‘Bloom doesn’t care)  
• Rainbow Dash is pureblood Pegasus, and Firefly is her mother.  
• Fluttershy is NOT pureblood. Her mother is Posey, an Earthpony, which is why she fails so hard at being a Pegasus. `Shy had a crappy upbringing as a result of her mixed heritage.  
• Rarity and Sweetie Belle are mostly Unicorn, but have some Earthpony blood in their ancestry.  
• Pinkie is genetically 1/4 Pegasus due to being the granddaughter of Surprise (a pureblood Pegasus).  
• Scootaloo is genetically mostly Earthpony but manifested as a Pegasus and was rejected as a result. It’s why she can’t fly.  
• Trixie is 7/8 Unicorn, 1/8 Earthpony.  
• Derpy is 1/2 Pegasus, 1/4 Unicorn, and 1/4 Gallifreyan (but not The Doctor). No one knows why.
   
• Every once in awhile, a mixed-race Pony will have the attributes of their manifested race be as strong as or (more rarely) stronger than those of their pureblooded brethren. Pony biologists believe this is a genetic stopgap to keep manifest powers from deteriorating completely over the generations. Spitfire is a good example of this; she’s a Pegasus with a fair amount of Unicorn blood but is one of the very best flyers around (she keeps her ancestry a secret to avoid banishment from Cloudsdale).
   
• Natural Alicorns (i.e. not demigoddesses like Celestia & Luna nor “created” like the Twilicorn and possibly Cadance) can exist, by extremely rare genetic fluke. However, they are usually sterile and lack the ridiculous powers. There are thought to be fewer than two dozen in all of Equestria.

@Dr Outback

• Like with human (and horse) races in real life, when Little Ponies of different races mate, the result is a genetic blend, though with Little Ponies naturally one race must manifest over any others. However, the mixed-race offspring is extremely likely to have race-based attributes less powerful than either of its parents (i.e. a filly born of an Earthpony stallion and Pegasus mare that manifests as Earthpony will not be as strong as her father, and of course won’t be able to fly or touch clouds). This perpetuates the preexisting tendency of Ponies to not race-mix, particularly in small towns like Ponyville (where physical prowess matters) or in Canterlot (where the nobility places heavy emphasis on Purity), to say nothing of Cloudsdale (which is the most racist place in Equestria by far). Therefore…
• Twilight Sparkle & Shining Armor are 100% pureblood Unicorn, which is a big reason why they’re so incredibly powerful.
• The Apple Family main branch are all pureblood Earthponies and proud of it. (‘Bloom doesn’t care)
• Rainbow Dash is pureblood Pegasus, and Firefly is her mother.
• Fluttershy is NOT pureblood. Her mother is Posey, an Earthpony, which is why she fails so hard at being a Pegasus. `Shy had a crappy upbringing as a result of her mixed heritage.
• Rarity and Sweetie Belle are mostly Unicorn, but have some Earthpony blood in their ancestry.
• Pinkie is genetically 1/4 Pegasus due to being the granddaughter of Surprise (a pureblood Pegasus).
• Scootaloo is genetically mostly Earthpony but manifested as a Pegasus and was rejected as a result. It’s why she can’t fly.
• Trixie is 7/8 Unicorn, 1/8 Earthpony.
• Derpy is 1/2 Pegasus, 1/4 Unicorn, and 1/4 Gallifreyan (but not The Doctor). No one knows why.
• Every once in awhile, a mixed-race Pony will have the attributes of their manifested race be as strong as or (more rarely) stronger than those of their pureblooded brethren. Pony biologists believe this is a genetic stopgap to keep manifest powers from deteriorating completely over the generations. Spitfire is a good example of this; she’s a Pegasus with a fair amount of Unicorn blood but is one of the very best flyers around (she keeps her ancestry a secret to avoid banishment from Cloudsdale).
• Natural Alicorns (i.e. not demigoddesses like Celestia & Luna nor “created” like the Twilicorn and possibly Cadance) can exist, by extremely rare genetic fluke. However, they are usually sterile and lack the ridiculous powers. There are thought to be fewer than two dozen in all of Equestria.