Crazy Headcanons

The_Mungoman
Thread Starter - /dis/gravity-falls
Artist -
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

@YetAnotherBrony  
Well, that is definitely true.
 
Welp, time for another CRAAAAAAAAAZY HEADCANOOOOOOOOON  
  • insert theme music *
     
    At some point in their lives Snips and Snails are put on Ritalin and become world-renowned pharmaceutical scientists.
Lord WyrmSpawN
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Thread Starter - MLP G5 Discussion and Speculation Thread
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
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The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

Lingering Wyvern
Carrot Cake used to be a unicorn hitman for the mafia. He had a great talent at handling knives and other sharp implements. His real name was Cake Cutter. He changed it after marrying Cup Cake, an unusually girthy Pegasus who had her wings removed for some arbitrary reason (dishonor on flight ability? failed hit? diabetes?) Carrot keeps his true race hidden with a hat at all times, even though his gang stopped the search for him some time ago.
 
The world outside Equestria is relatively more peaceful.
Random-Rambling
Pixel Perfection - Hot Pockets Spotted
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Non-Fungible Trixie -
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!

tinyurl.com/dymbb3a
Carrot Cake used to be a unicorn hitman for the mafia. He had a great talent at handling knives and other sharp implements. His real name was Cake Cutter. He changed it after marrying Cup Cake, an unusually girthy Pegasus who had her wings removed for some arbitrary reason (dishonor on flight ability? failed hit? diabetes?) Carrot keeps his true race hidden with a hat at all times, even though his gang stopped the search for him some time ago.
The world outside Equestria is relatively more peaceful.
 
I don’t know about you two, but why couldn’t two earth ponies have a pegasus foal and a unicorn foal? Genes can pop up in the most unlikely places.
Lord WyrmSpawN
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Non-Fungible Trixie -
Thread Starter - MLP G5 Discussion and Speculation Thread
My Little Pony - 1992 Edition
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends.
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2018) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2017) - Celebrated Derpibooru's five year anniversary with friends.
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

Lingering Wyvern
Celestia has had several alicorns made over the thousand years since Luna’s banishment. Each had great power over an emotion of power, but none accomplished as much as Cadance or Twilight, and none still live today.
 
Except one, who achieved his destiny based on pessimistic realism. For all Celestia knows, he is alive, well, and as gloomy as ever.
 
Luna was a bat pony, but grew feathers over her leathery wings as part of her alicorning.
gasmaskangel
Magical Inkwell - Wrote MLP fanfiction consisting of at least around 1.5k words, and has a verified link to the platform of their choice
Artist -
Since the Beginning  -

Equestria has an equivalent of Dungeons and Dragons (and no, its not houses and humans, that’s good for jokes but not for insane headcanon). All of the mane six play it, though admittedly Twilight had to cajole and bribe some of them into doing it.
 
Twilight or Rarity switch off on doing DM duty and both are of the opinion that the other is doing it entirely wrong. Twilight focuses on delivering an immaculately balanced campaign that provides exactly the right amount of challenge to the party, while Rarity keeps trying to weave an epic tale of fantasy and courtly intrigue. Both get equally enraged when the campaign inevitably goes off the rails.
 
When playing Twilight is an obsessive min/maxer, usually playing as a mage with a focus on buffs and direct damage spells. She never once considered casting magic missile at the darkness.
 
Rarity on the other hand is the consummate role player. Every single one of her character sheets has a small novel of back story attached to it, even though she plays basically the exact same character (a fallen noble lady forced into a life of thievery by conspiracy of wicked aristocrats) every single time, though some times she does change the color of the character’s mane when called out on this.
 
Applejack is the newb, and has resigned herself to always being the newb. She has no idea how this insane game of Twilight’s works, but she doesn’t complain because she enjoys spending time with her friends, even when whichever unicorn is dming at the time gets frustrated and kills the party. She plays a fighter because she can just about get her head around the rules for that.
 
Rainbow Dash is a hack and slasher. She thinks the game is nerdy as hell, but she loves the part where she gets to kick all kinds of monster ass. Whenever monster killing isn’t in effect, she barely pays attention to the game and will claim her barbarian is off getting mead and hookers during the talky bits.
 
Pinkie Pie is that special breed of chaotic neutral bard that slaps the king in the face with a fish and makes the dm shout “THATS IT! ROCKS FALL, EVERYPONY DIES!” The others haven’t tried to ban her from the game yet, both because Pinkie goes sort of insane when she thinks her friends don’t like her, and because she seems to roll natural 20s just all the damn time.
 
Fluttershy really wants to be a big scary barbarian and kill monsters and stuff, but she is almost always stuck as the healer because the party needs one and she doesn’t really want to argue about it.
 
Spike isn’t into this nerd stuff, instead he’s got a fantasy hoofball league going with Snips and Snails.
 
Currently Rarity is trying to get Twilight to let her run a game of Vampire, but both are hesitant because of the terrible, awful things pinkie would do with [insert a clever pony pun for clan Malkavian here].
SpacePaladin
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

Watcher of the Watchmen
The Batponies we see are actually the guards Nightmare Moon blasted in the first episode. They needed extensive magical reconstructive surgery as a result. Their altered appearance, including the bat wings are the result of Luna doing it.
gasmaskangel
Magical Inkwell - Wrote MLP fanfiction consisting of at least around 1.5k words, and has a verified link to the platform of their choice
Artist -
Since the Beginning  -

@Sjogre  
Hmmmm… adjusted headcanon. Spike really does want to play pony d&d with girls, and wants to play the heroic paladin, but he’s afraid of looking like a dork.
 
Actually is anyone else thinking this would make for a good episode? It would basically be a retread of Read it and Weep but hey it’d be fun to watch the girls just completely dork out.
Itsthinking
Princess Ember - Derpi Supporter
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@gasmaskangel  
People thought Read It and Weep was the story of an archetypical pony fan? I’d change the setup a little bit, though. Imagine if there’s an episode where Spike really gets into something the CMCs like and is totally embarrassed and trying to hide it. Would be hilarious.
Sjogre
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

@Itsthinking  
Not sure how what he’d hide. While being called cute sometimes embarrasses him, he also wears pink frilly aprons and makes tea and cookies for the girls. He’s usually secure with having his less-than-masculine traits on display.
 
@gasmaskangel  
Likewise, I can’t really see him being afraid of looking like a dork. He’d probably approach it like Rainbow Dash, although a bit more into the roleplaying part.
Sjogre
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

@SeraphimDawn  
Enh. He’s in an age class above the CMC for sure. He also talked down to Snips & Snails during their only prolonged conversation. I don’t see him giving that much weight to a bunch of kids.
Itsthinking
Princess Ember - Derpi Supporter
Diamond -
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2018) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.
Birthday Cake - Celebrated MLP's 7th birthday
Perfect Pony Plot Provider - Uploader of 10+ images with 350 upvotes or more (Questionable/Explicit)
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!
An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2017) - Celebrated Derpibooru's five year anniversary with friends.
Silver Supporter -
Happy Derpy! -

🅱
@Sjogre  
I can see how the apron is feminine, but how is cooking?
 
@SeraphimDawn  
It would be kind of hard to pull it off since this plot is usually done with a TV show and there’s an obvious problem. Here’s a teaser for you:
 
Dragons and Their Toys : A rainy day with the Cutie Mark Crusaders leaves Spike with a secret hobby, but when the secret’s out, how will his friends respond?
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