Applejack: Are you lookin’ at porn, sugarcube?
 
Me: No!
 
(Applejack raises her eyebrow suspiciously)
 
Me: …Yes.

I need to use this more often.

“So this is porn.”
 
Yes it is, Applejack.
 
“Porn… of me.”
 
Yes.
 
“Porn of me digestin’ my little sister with a piece of ‘equipment’ no mare ought to have.”
 
Indeed it is.
 
“Now I ain’t Twilight, but I can say for darn sure that biology don’t work like that. In fact, that’d probably be right painful if anypony was to try it.”
 
Probably.
 
“And you mean to tell me this is still… uh… arousin’ to some of y’all?”
 
Yes.
 
“Y’all bronyfolk are some weird people.”

This has exploitable written all over.